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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

you are so right bigzzz. they dealt with it! are a strong man. Be careful with some of those antidepressant meds. Paxil is supposed to have lots of side effects. Weight gain is a big one with that medicine. Cymbalta works good for me. I think a lot of my "snippy" attitude had to do with the man I was married to. I am still stuck with him you know. It is driving me crazy. The problem is I feel sorry for him. He doesn't know how to do anything for himself and I don't know how he would function on his own. That sounds so lame doesn't it? I don't love him like a woman should a man. It is a very dependent relationship we have (him on me) not as much financially as he will pull his own weight now but he depends on me like a kid would a mother. Although he would never admit it. I think he is afraid of being alone because he doesn't have any real good friends. The ones he has he doesn't trust. They are "druggie" friends. Not real ones. I am kind of afraid of being by myself where I live. I live a mile from a neighbor! Crazy isn't it. I bet you didn't think places like this even existed! lol....It is beautiful out here though and very peaceful. You can hear your mind talk at night. Along with the crickets and the coyotes. However, I know that I need to move forward. We have a house that renters just moved out of and I am going to try to talk him into at least keeping it as a residence even if he doesn't stay there a lot and then eventually getting him there more and more! lol...sounds deceptive doesn't it? Anyways I am still doing good on the roxis. I met with a friend of mine last night and he and I talked for a couple of hours. We are just friends. It could go further maybe but he is stuck with a deadbeat pillhead and I mean she is a skank. I asked him if he loved her, was sorry for her or just plain lonely. I think it took him by surprise and he did seem to think about it. anyways, I wouldn't get involved with him until I was out of this and he was out of his situation. Who knows if any of this would happen. He doesn't do drugs!!!!! That is what attracts me to him plus he is self sufficient and has his own business and doesn't need a "mama" to keep him. I like an independent man. I am tired of being the one to be so independent. I don't want anyone to take care of me but it is nice to lean on a strong man and let him worry some about life's problems for a change. I mean like fixing cars or getting them fixed, cutting the grass, fixing the plumbing. I have to take care of it all. It gets old. Makes me want a roxi just thinking about am going through so many changes right now. My kids are almost grown. One is and the other is right behind. I have more free time in my life to think about my situation and I am not happy with what I am finding. I am ranting and writing a book again I know. But I am only 42 and I am not ready for a wheel chair yet! I bought a bottle of advil (150 pills) last night and he was like "wow" I couldn't take those in a year! lol.....I told him I was cutting down off my pain meds. He is old school. He thinks if a doc says you need them then it is okay. Especially since I was only taking what I was supposed to. he said he didn't see where I even had a problem. I told him I was stopping the problem before it became one. I have seen so much and had such a horrible life these last 23 years because of drugs. Maybe that is part of why I am so adamant about it. Plus u are right. The roxis tell you that your pain is worse than it is. I know this because sometimes my body will "signal" for a pill before my pain will. That is how you know my friend that it could be a significant problem at some point.

Well I am going to let u go. Good luck with the doc and don't forget to tell him about the opiate addiction thing. I know it is not something u want to talk about. On second thought. I don't know if you should cause will it mess u up with health insurance? Insurance companys are so freaking crazy these days. They look for excuses to drop people left and right. They can get access to your records too. Even future insurance companies can get old records and hold them against u. I am not much for President Obama but he might have a point with public healthcare. I won't get into politics. I used to be republican straight across the board but then I started liking democrats now I think I am just gonna vote for Donald Trump if he runs! lol

ttyl....have a great day :)

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