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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

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well its been 30+ hours without subs now my intention was to take 1mg or less at some point today but since my last dose of about 1.5mg was yesterday morning at 8am Im NOW thinking I will push through it as long as I can and try NOT to take another sub at all.

it's very tempting sitting there in front of me but i've been fighting it. I just took a 10mg valium to help me with the symptoms a little. [/QUOTE]

im not familiar with suboxone, but this whole paragraph reminded me of my scenario getting off oxys the first time. Long story short. I had been on oxy 80 a day for about 2 months (leading up to that I obviously took smaller doses for 2 years). Anyways i was doing an 80 a day, I go up to a week long outdoor dj party with 3 oxys, thinking i can get more up there (10 hr drive away..ughhhh).

i was out of them by the second day, and nobody had painkillers up there. there were about 10 000 ppl at this party in the woods and there were everything but painkillers, at least what i could find. Its not really the thing you go yelling out asking for, its kinda taboo at these partys, theyre all on mdma and weed and uppers, liquid lsd made a comeback, shrooms,etc. (kida like 'Burningman')

but I had left a 20 mg chunk in my pocket, knowing that I would need it for the 10 hr drive home just in case something went awry... Well AWRY became the theme of this trip.!!! I went through my withdrawals in my tent day 3 barely slept....was a zombie day 4 not talking to anyone, but day 5 I woke up at 5 am to relieve myself and realized that I could walk!...I wasnt in much pain, and I actually got a rush from the fact that I am no longer dependent on putting this 'battery' in my back so to speak (thats how it felt to me). and I had no intention on stopping using oxys although I was getting fed up at paying for something that just makes me feel 'normal' no more euphoria folks.....for those of u on oxys...the fun dies out pretty quick!

oh and I didnt know about benzos! argggggh!

on the very last day, I still had this 20 mg chunk in my pocket (had it in my pocket beside me for the three days of hell tossing and turning in my tent at night, but gravol helped me sleep) ...I feel that im over my addiction and im in my glory, yet still in some pain. So the last night of partying day 6, i took half a bite of it (10 mg), and threw the other half into a portapotty, to symbolically/literally flush my addiction. oh that 10 was the greatest 10 mg I ever took haha

so I know how you feel looking at that 1 ml and wanting to 'hold off' and try to stretch out the distance of doses. Because it feels that every hour that goes by, your body needs less and less of the drug. Like your muscles are starting to forget that they crave them,etc. Its all very mental, its a mind game like you said. {paraphrasing}

I wish you well bro, I think you got this game on lock, you know what you need to do, and the withdrawals are bad, but ppl can make them worse by thinking that they are going to be dreadful, etc.

Take the vitamins, try to get out of bed and walk around, and please keep us posted man, it helps a lot of people when were at this stage and we discuss it, because alot of people are going through it and are curious as to whats going to happen!!?? I journalled my whole withdrawal the 'second go' around and people gave me great feedback, and I helped inform some ppl too and made some cool friends. Keep us posted man!

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