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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

hey Rocksteady, I actually have been taking roxicodone for about 2 or so years and percocet before that. I want to say 3 years total. I have really bad arthritis in my spine and they have a fancy name for it but I can't recall. Lots of other yucky things going on like bone spurs and things that make it sound like one needs even a higher dose! lol.. Sometimes I think that the names they give us for our ailments sound so bad that it gives us a reason to justify the opiate addiction. I am 42 and never touched a narcotic (except for childbirth and a few car accidents) for more than a few days at a time until I started seeing my rheumatologist. I can't really blame him though. I knew what I was getting in to I just didn't think I could get addicted because I do not have an addictive personality. Boy was I wrong. Physical dependence and tolerance are as bad. addiction is addiction either way you look at it. If it werent for the fear of my doctor finding out I think I would try to get some kind of counseling. I feel like I could really eventually just take a pill during flareups. I can take one pain pill and usually be okay and not need to take another one. And I keep telling myself this crap but I wouldn't know unless it came down to it and I tried it. I am trying to taper on my own without any doctor involved. I don't want cut off my pain meds because what if i can't do without them? I am so confused it isn't funny. Currently though this is my situation. I am prescribed 4 roxicodones a day. they are 30 mgs each. that is like taking 3 percocets that are 10mgs each. The doseage is really high. How did I let it get so high. The doc would ask if it was working and of course the more you take the more it takes. so what worked a year ago isn't working as well now. you get used to the amount. then the body starts wanting it as much as the pain. that is not making sense i know but what i am saying is i crave the drug sometimes more than i need it for pain. I really don't have an addictive personality or i think that when i have a whole bottle sitting in front of me i would take more than i am supposed to.

anyways, are you still working? How old are you? alot of things play into factor as to what you should do. You obviously can't go to work in pain. It is hard enough to be at home with it. I know what you mean about talking to your doc and being afraid of being labeled. I am scared of the same thing. My thing is I hate withdrawls. How did u come off the meds before? Did u go cold turkey.

Btw, the surgery I had on my knee was mainly to remove some torn cartledge and arthritis. I think my body is gone one arthritic mess! I don't have rheumatory arthritis and for that I am so thankful. my biggest problem that I seem to be having outside of pain is I have absolutely no energy. I have to get to the bottom of it. I could stay in bed with my laptop all day. I used to cook at least every night and my house stayed spotless. Now it is go make a sandwich or takeout. I made a meat loaf the other day and I thought to myself, when did i let my life go so downhill? I don't know if it is depression or what. When I see my doc I am going to address that issue with him. I am not sure it has anything at all to do with the opiates but I have to figure out something.

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