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I'm writing this to the world in hopes that what I have to say may inspire merely one person. This is my story......I have been addicted to Opiates for 2 years, average consumption has been 180mgs/daily, some occasions as much as 330mgs. I have struggled in life, business, relationships since my early 20's. Failed marriage after 6 years to my still best friend and soul mate. We met in 2005 while living in Spain, Marbella, met from the internet while I was living in Florida and she was living in Finland. I have owned several businesses, some successful some not. My recent venture lasted me 3 1/2 years where recently we went public, Oil and Gas. I spent those years building our trading division which allowed me to see my beloved Russia and some other countries. I was blessed with building friendships before business which I carry these relationships to this day. During these past 3 1/2 years I carried myself and my bills with savings and devoted more importantly my time. I partnered up with someone who at the time I felt was capable in taking my ideas and his own to the next level using honesty, integrity and loyalty to one another. The hours were obviously insane working on both US time and International. This is where my relationship to my wife was put to the side and she became second to my dreams. Not to long after this I was introduced to Oxycodone from a friend of mine and I felt indestructible. One turned to two, three, four and then so on. After dealing with a dealer I had suffered some injuries in my early years from football and was able to acquire the pills through a doctor. Having been blessed with finding these miracle pills I was able to continue with work and dealing with (emotional suppressant) all the problems that sat in front of my face. I had a partner who miss appropriated funds with no concern for the well being of myself and the other people involved. I finally made the decision that I could no longer afford to live the way I was living and decided to take a break from the business and remain a share holder. This was heart breaking for me after all I worked for and built....Moved to Scottsdale, AZ to take a temporary job in Finance while I worked on another project that I had been working on for some time without anyone knowing, my last card in the pocket. Moved in with a friend of mine who worked at the same place having no clue of the level of his addiction to Oxycodone, twenty 30mg/daily minimum. Lets just say everything I was promised by him and was told was nothing more then a lie. His addiction spilled over to mine, constantly asking me for some of mine until his appointment or appointments....This constant broking record im sure we all are to familiar with had finally come to an end, I made my decision while looking in the mirror at myself that I was going to make a change and decided to pack everything I had brought and moved to Sedona, AZ w/ no clue as to where I was going to live or how I am to survive. At that time my cousin had a place for two weeks and after that we would have to find somewhere else to live. I took with me four 8mgs Sub's and a perscription of Zanax. My first three days I took an entire 8 mgs strip which is placed under the tounge. I waited 36 hours after my last 8 mgs strip to then take 2 mgs, another 36 hours I took another 2 mgs, 48 hours I took 2 mgs, 48 hours 1 mgs, then 72 hours later I took my last 1 mgs. During this period I suffered from Restless legs, sweats, aches and sleepless nights. I had to remind myself that pain is only temporary and this to will pass. Going into my second week im on my feet, visiting what they call Vortex's (Energy Fields on the magnetic grid lines that exist on earth). I had several emotional bursts which are very uncommon for me, emotions that I have suppressed for years that came to the surface and disappeared as fast as they came. I started feeling again, emotions, basic emotions, taste and smells. All the things that these pills deprive us of that makes us such special unique individuals. During this time I did a lot of praying to people that meant a lot to me that had passed, more and more I felt these strange surges of energy that would run down my spine when I asked them to help me (Whacked out I know). On my second week having been off the pills exactly 17 days my cousin urged me to take a hike with him into a place called Boynton Canyon in Sedona, AZ which is a sacred ground for the Native American Indians for generations. This was supposed to be a .07 mile hike which turned into 4 miles. The trail started off in a desert type terrain with rocks and cactus everywhere. After walking for 15 mins we came to an opening where you could see the resort Enchanted and a trail that curved around the canyon which seemed so far away. I became doubtful that I would be able to make it that far but, kept going. Up and down rocks we finally made it to that point and continued on. The Goal was to the back of the Canyon in the Cove. As we passed the resort that terrain started to change and became much greener. Beautiful huge trees everywhere with moss on rocks, dried creek bed 12 feet below to my right. At this point im hurting, winded and decided that I need to squat down and take a break while standing on this massive flat rock over looking the dry creek bed. Within 5 seconds of me doing this out of no where I hear noise as if something is running at me, looking up I see a deer running right at me. Having grown up in the South, Deers are very instinctive creatures with amazing defense mechanisms, they do not run towards people? He turned at the last second having totally taking us by surprise. My cousin who is very connected with the Native American people told me this was for me, this entire experience. That we all have an animal spirit that we relate with at certain times in our life and they change with time as well. After the experience I knew I had to continue to that back of the Canyon no matter how bad I hurt. As we went deeper the trees changed and the leaves had falling and they turned white. At this point the sun is going down, just about 7 o'clock and the leaves are glowing like something out of a Syfy movie or Lord of the Rings. About another 10 mins we made it to the back of Boynton Canyon and found the perfect place to sit and take in the moment. It's now black outside with no moon. My cousin started gathering leaves and sticks and gave me a lighter. He wanted this to symbolize the lighting of my inner fire that we all have that wants us to be great, successful, compassionate and empowering to our fellow man. Had a problem lighting the fire and he gave me three $1 bills which I used two to light that small pile of leaves and sticks. While this burned I was thankful of the experience and the fact I made it this far. Then something told me that I was to make an offering myself which is customary in the Native American culture soo, I pulled out a $1 bill. Realizing I had two I burnt my cousins first, nothing coming to me at all. For some reason the coals were staying lit and I layed my dollar on top and it was glowing orange/red. Gave me a real good view of all the symbolism on the dollar bill starting with the Roman Staff Eagle then to the Pyramid with the All Seeing Eye. Then something said light the bill, as it burnt, it burnt in a way where it was coming from the top right down. As it got to the All Seeing Eye and it was being burnt something screamed in my head that this is where you stop chasing money, money starts chasing you. I had for so long never understood what so many extremely successful business men had told me, "Dont Chase Money, Let it Chase YOU". I got it, it just made sense to me after all that time. The bill continued to burn, passing the President to the Roman Staff Eagle. Symbolizing strength, honor, unity etc. I saw myself absorbing those qualities and I felt really empowered. So this period ended and I was satisfied with what Boynton Canyon gave me and it hit me we had to walk 2 miles out of this Canyon with merely a lighter, No Fear though? Oh like a whack job, I was suppose to leave a piece of me there so I pulled some hair out which hurt and left it by a tree. This represents me becoming part of the Canyon. We started walking back and I was separated from my cousin and thought the dry creek was the trail. I was told that I should find something that will remind me of this journey in the beginning when we started and I would know when to pick it up. I lit my lighter and found a red rock amongst all gray stones. Literally the moment I grabbed it, something said climb up. I did and there was the trail???? This point im really thinking im losing my mind but, I went in this being open to whatever possibilities may help me with recovery. This symbolized to me that no matter where lifes path may take me, if I am ever to get lost which I will, I always have my rock to come back to, Sedona, AZ. A place where I can come back to when I need to get grounded and heal from lifes struggles. I yelled for my cousin and we were reunited. Its amazing how the natural twilight if you look hard enough will light the trail and the rocks so you know where your going, beautiful. We were making great time, faster then when we came in and I was feeling fantastic, NO PAIN. As we got closer to the resort the artificial light started to become brighter and then we hit a spot light. You can not see SH$T when this happens and you can not see where you came from or where your to go. So we walked up the wall of the Canyon thinking this was the right path and got pass the spot light and our eyes adjusted and we were able to see the path again. This for me represented my future walk in life, as I will enter back into life the path will be lit for me which it is with my new opportunity and outlook on life through these experiences and time I am taking for myself. But, when entering back into the ENCHANTED (Resort name) lights of the cities, women, money, cars etc, its easy to lose the path by being blinded by the things that only bring us temporary happiness but, I have my rock to come back to and get back on my path in life. For me this walk signified my past (the walk into the Canyon) and the present (lighting the fire) slamming into what is the NOW! Something I never understood, always living for the future or from the past never in the NOW....My body went into shock about 20 mins after we got to the car and had to take a hot shower to get myself together, was cold too. Three days later we made a trip to a creek about 15 miles outside of Sedona where ancient lava rocks cover the landscape everywhere...I walked bare footed so I had to concentrate on how to get to the water side so I can focus on being in the here....I was really stressed this day from phone calls and coordinating our trip to Africa next month and New York for business. My back was killing me and NO ENERGY. As we got to the creek the water running by, we sat and just listened...Rocks were everywhere with water rushing around them and it put me to sleep while sitting hunched over. I woke up and was completely re-energized,calm and something just hit me. You can kind of look at life as this creek, all these obstacles in life like the rocks but, the water continues to flow eventually meeting up again after it makes its way around the rocks. As long as we continue to do the right things, make the right choices for OURSELVES and allow life to flow like this creek we all can eventually get to that place we need to be. This is my story, I am 3 weeks and 4 days sober...This experience has been a re-birth for me, THANK GOD FOR HAVING HAD THE OXYCODONE to help me get through what I did and it served its purpose!! There is just no place for it in my life anymore and I made that decision. So, I do not look at it as a negative thing, only positive...I hope this story inspired someone and helps you fulfill what you really came here to do, thats to be great for you and the people you choose to be around. Now my new life is about to start from the decision I made.


P.S. If anyone has the ability to just get away, Sedona, AZ has changed my life. I am shocked by the rate of my recovery and the ability to digest and move thoughts. I am ever in debt to this place and will carry this experience to the day God decides to call me home. :angel:





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