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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

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Norco- I have been reading/following this thread, and I want to tell you my heart goes out to you. You have gone through hell and back, and yet you keep on going. I admire your honesty & courage.

I too am a CP patient, and yes I am on opiates, Norco being one of them.

I was forced into withdraws a couple years ago because the doctor I was seeing at the time got into trouble with the DEA & closed without any notice basically.

I will tell you, that if your body reacts the way mine did, and so far, what you have gone through is almost the EXACT same thing I went through, then by about ady 10 you might start to feel better. When I went ct, the first 9 days were like death, no, actually I even prayed for death a couple times, but then realized my daughter & son & husband need me, so I stopped that line of thought right quickly (not before I begged my husband to bash my skull in & put me out of my misery). The look on his face when I told him I just wanted to die broke my heart.

Day 10, for me anyways was the turning point. I still wasn't sleeping well, but was getting anywhere from about 3-4 hours of sleep which was better than the tossing & turning, sweats/chills/nausea, restless legs & arms and no sleep I was getting the nights before that. I was taking sometimes 5 hot showers throughout the night trying to get some kind of relief. They did help, but only for about half an hour or so, but that half hour after those showers was heaven compared to the rest of those sleepless hours.

You know, during the worst of the wd's I even resented my family who was sleeping so peacefully. I just wanted to scream at all of them to wake up & suffer with me! How selfish I felt, but I really wanted to do that.

When day 10 rolled around, I found that music was the best therapy for me. It was the ONLY thing that seemed to trigger my brain to make those endorphines that make you feel good. I cranked it up, and even started dancing- my son thought I'd lost it. (He didn't know about the wd's- he just thought I had the flu) I cranked the music up in the house, on my computer, in the car- you name it. It did the trick for me so I went with it.

Although I am back on meds and with a truly qualified & responsible doctor now, I admire your choice & your reasons to stop the meds. This is something that has to be a personal choice, a choice only YOU can make. You did the right thing if the meds were robbing you and/or your family of anything that you all truly deserve.

Keep it up Norco, because it will have been so worth the misery & fight when you are able to look at your child with sober eyes & smile a genuine, sober smile (a smile you actually FEEL) & feel the warmth of your child looking back at you the way only our children look at us!

Take Care- and know I'm sending thoughts for strength your way.

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