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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

The physcial withdrawl as painful, but maybe moreso is the reason anyone takes these to begin with - to mask mental or physcial pain or both. The mind will do anything to keep this schrade going.

I was a addict of nonperscription drugs for a few years, I won't even you tell you what I did during that time, it's horrific to think of, it's so embarassing that I cant even believe it was me doing those things.

I now use, in total moderation, pain pills and xanax, and I should even be on those given my past. I am trying to get through a lot of medical stuff so that I can CTRL, ALT, DEL and get past the need to take anything. I tried to cut down yesterday to half my dose and was in such horrid pain, I can't even begin to tell you, and I am a super lightweight user.

When you graduate to 20 plus pills a day, or your taking harder stuff, like Roxycotin, backing of is even more painful.

My cousin was owned a mortgage company, she owed a lot of land, she owned homes. She is in jail now and two of her children are with their grandmother, the other is being raised by my mother. She was down to living in her car with a warrant for probation violation. She stole jewelry from friends, long-time friends, to keep her habit going. At first she started taking Vicodin for a back injury from an ATV accident. In the end, she was crushing up all sorts of pills, mixing then with Xanax, and snorting them or shooting them up.

It's hard for any of us to wrap our arms around this new person she has become -- doesn't shower, doesn't care, chain smokes, etc., Hell, her husband even mugged a woman at the local health clinic for the lady's purse. It's the health clinic, a place for the broke and the sick. Mindblowing.

They were so poor (before she lost the kids and went to jail) due to doctor shopping and buying blackmarket pills, they had to fish for food out of our local waterway.

She and her hubby are in jail now. When they get out, they'll be robbing people again. The illness has eclipsed who she was. I imagine that's the case for just about everyone that hits it this hard.

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