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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

To make an awfully long story short:

-I had gastric bypass surgery at the age of 19 (almost 6 years ago) and have been successful at losing 150lbs

-In the past 2 years I've had to undergo 4 grueling surgeries to try and save my stomach so I wouldn't have to live off of a feeding tube for the rest of my life (I strictly had to live off of one for 6 months)

During all of this the only solution that the doctors knew was to keep me on pain medication. They wanted to keep me comfortable but they never upped the dose once my body had adapted to the dose and so I took it upon myself to keep upping it. Well here it was and I was running out of my medication early. I had just fully recovered from my last surgery and stopped the pain meds. Well my body did the obvious and went into withdrawals. I started writing my own Rx's for pain medicine. I was taking between 20-25 Vicodin ES a day. One day I was caught (not in the act) and had a surprise intervention at my house. I went into treatment the next day and was put on Suboxone 24mgs a day. Friday February 17th was the last day I had Vicodin and Friday May 18th I took myself off the Subs which is NOT advised. Even though I tapered myself down to the lowest amount possible 0.2mg, I still hit the withdrawals. It was TERRIBLE but rest assured, I got through it! I never, ever in a million years thought that I would find myself in this situation. I come from a very loving and supportive family. My boyfriend is a surgeon and had absolutely NO idea what I was doing. He's stuck by my side the whole time and loved me even more throughout my whole ordeal (they weren't his RX's that I was using). It feels SO GOOD to be drug free! I've come to terms that I am a recovering drug addict. It took me awhile to be able to forgive myself and realize that this is a disease and I am not a bad person. Every single person out there that is struggling can get help and CAN get through this. I'm finding much more happiness in my life without the drugs. I am no longer living in a "fog" and I have realized that I have control over myself--narcotics are no longer a part of my life. If I can do it, so can you. Hang in there!

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