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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

I think that addiction doesn't necessarily run in families but that the behaviour that "brings out" problems with addictions does.For example, if your father or mother drinks and you have been brought up in that environment where the parents stay together with nothing being said about the addiction openly, then, I believe, you are very likely to continue the pattern.If it has been all you have known as a child and young adult without it being discussed at home, how are you to know what exactly wasn't right with your home life that seemed to cause so much upset and unhappiness.Often adult children of alcoholics tend to come to their own conclusions about the cause of the unhappiness...and still don't like to say "he/she was an alcoholic"'s more, "they liked the drink", "he liked to party" or "she likes the odd bottle".This is underplaying their evaluations as they don't feel confident enough to say it outright as they live a lie within the family.

My own circumstances are that my father is a 2-3year recovering alcoholic at the age of 62 but drank constantly before that.My parents seperated when I was 15 in a very nasty court battle and the whole family (ie 5 kids) were subjected to bitterness and hurt.I am the oldest and now have just seperated from my husband 1 1/2 years ago after 10 years marriage.He was a work-aholic but now I am very much in love with an alcoholic! (nearly sounds funny!).I am determined not to let the alcohol ruin my life (again) and that is where I feel the cycle has been broken. Through my mother's courage to seperate (as a lot of people tend to choose to "ignore" the problem), everything was brought out in the open.None of us have an addiction problem though one brother is very close (he also is the most attached to our father!).
I think, by talking about it openly, a lot of damage can be prevented and the cycle can be slowly stopped. Though I have an alcoholic boyfriend, I am handling his addiction a lot different then my mother did my dad's.
Hope this isn't too long-winded for you..Have a happy Christmas.

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