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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

I am addicted to the pain meds I'm on. I am prescribed 14 pills a day - 8 Darvocet and 6 Vicodin HP for the last three years. I now take 3 times that amount or more. I went to my pastor last week and finally told him about it to get some help. I am so afraid. I don't know what would happen if my husband found out and with being sick I am afraid that this new "problem" will finish my jobs off. I support my family as my husband is permanently disabled with heart problems. I feel like I would lose everything but I think I'm headed there anyway. I have even had suicidal thoughts = that me and everyone else would be better off. I have an addictive personality as I have had this problem about 20 years ago. My pastor wants to really help me out - I have started going back to church in hopes of finding some peace in my life. Waht am I in for if I go cold turkey? I can't function through the day without these meds - sometimes for the pain but other times out of necessity. How am I going to handle the pain if I don't have the pills and still be able to function as a reasonable, sane human being?
Hi - I'm glad you're talking to your pastor. That's a start.

What is causing your pain, if I may ask? The vicodin is dangerous in higher doses as it can damage the liver. You are obviously taking MUCH too much and I'd advise a liver panel -- a blood test to see how the liver enzymes are.

The chronic pain MUST be treated, but with care. Can you see a pain management specialist? They can give you more options for treating chronic pain --- procedures, injections, meds, etc. There are long-acting pain meds that would probably work better for the pain, depending on how severe it is.

You do need to reduce your intake of these meds. Would you be able to taper? Some medications are dangerous to cold-turkey, although vicodin isn't one of them. The withdrawal can be uncomfortable but there are over-the-counter things that can help, i.e. Immodium AD for diarrhea (sp?), benadryl for sleep, herbal teas to help calm. But it should and must be done -- you must get back to the prescribed level.

You also would benefit from an addiction counselor --- I've seen a pain management doc who is also a psychologist who works with addiction. I'm a recovering alcoholic/addict but am also a chronic pain patient --- my doc CAREFULLY supervises my intake of pain meds and so far (in 3 years) I haven't abused them or gotten a high or buzz. I also attend AA meetings and talk with my sponsor on a regular basis.

Find someone who can help with pain/addiction and NA meetings would be very very helpful. You need to do this for YOU --- not for anyone else. But like you said, if you continue on with the status quo, you could and probably will lose everything -- you do need help, as we all do. God Bless and please keep us posted. Peace, Lee

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