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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


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Hey. Congrats on that cut u just took!!!

And welcome to the boards. You can ALWAYS post here... Sometimes I do even if no one is writing back cause it helps keep my mind clear.

I'm addicted to pills too- oxycodone. I take maybe 7-10 a day of 15mg pills. I've been getting 180 if them for 2years or 3 and before that it was 7 years of 10mg percocets.

Now I'm on a sloooooow taper. I just cut to 150 a month. Next month will be the same and after my boyfriend will stop his pills and we will cut to only my 150. And down from there. More details are on my posts below.

My point was that I completely understand pills and tapering. I usually run out of my script early and almost every month taper down to zero and have a week or two sober. I know how hard the point us that you are at right now, nut you are doing GREAT! you should feel so proud.
I'm glad your guy is being so supportive. That's a huge help. My guy wants off badly.... without his pushing for us both to quit, I know I'd have a harder time.

When I've had my few sober weeks, let me tell you, the sky opens up!! Girl, just you wait for how lovely things can be without a pill haze.
The depression that swarms around tapering and for a bit after sucks. But remind yourself it's not real. It's your mind just balancing out again. It will go away.
Find some good aftercare (I'm going to go to therapy for my anxiety issues, which is a big part of this whole thing) so you have better coping tools, and (as you are already doing) stay away from peeps who are still using pills. It's too risky now and for the foreseeable future to be around that. You gotta look out for yourself!
Keep on truckin'!! You are kicking some serious butt! As Reach has said, every day is one step to getting better. Even when you feel badly, it is your body healing. :)
Keep posting! It will help!
Have a good day!!!
Good vibes!
Wendy
Hi!
Gosh that just fantastic! And seeing a therapist is awesome too. You must feel very accomplished! I mean, I know u have work to do and it's not easy, but you've made such progress. it's such a good thing. Yay! :)
Is seeing a therapist new for you or have you been going for a bit? Do they know about the pills?
I'm currently looking for one who specializes in anxiety disorders, as I know I use my pills as a way to cope... even though I also take anti depressant meds that help with my anxiety.
I'm trying to find a type of therapy that does behavioral as well as incorporates some eastern stuff like meditation. I'm so type A, and knowing how to relax/ quiet my mind would be great. I can't use drugs for that any more.

I'm doing well. I moved recently and I've been really busy which had helped me not over do it on my pills, as when I do they make me tired unlike some people where they get energy. Well, honestly I had two nights where I took more than I shouldn't have, but I caught myself and stopped it.
I have my extra pills in a separate container and haven't even looked at them. If I dont see them/ don't put them into my monthly pill divider, then I won't use them. So that's good as usually they are all spread out.

I got really sick with migraines for three days and am grateful I have meds to treat it, instead of having run out and having to duffer. So Im trying to keep that in mind too. That this medicine treats a problem I have and I will only be punishing myself if I misuse them and run out.
So I'm doing better in those ways.
I start my big cut (half of 180) so down to 90 (I explained my reasoning for going up to 180 from 150 in my other thread but basically I felt it was a really big jump to go down to 75 from only a month of 150, as I've been on 180 for years)... Anyway I go down on the 24th. So I'm excited about that. A bit nervous too of course as I haven't been that low in a long time.
But I know that that amount, in reality is fine. It's much more reasonable, will control my pain, and I won't be thrown into withdrawals along with my boyfriend the first month that we start living together. But we both feel really good to be starting this process FINALLY... we both really support each other in this, so with that I know I can do it. :) there are so many positive things happening in my life right now that only the pills can really derail them. Bo way can I let that happen. I'd never forgive myself. So I draw a lot of strength from all the goodness I have surrounding me and try to focus on how much better things will get in even just a few months. A year ago I was a mess (not just cause of the pills) so I really am holding on and do nor want to let go of all the nice things I have right now.

Keep on posting and let us know how u are doing!! I'll do the same.
I'm so happy for you!! :)
Good vibes!!
Wendy
[QUOTE=Wendy88;5156912]Hi!
Gosh that just fantastic! And seeing a therapist is awesome too. You must feel very accomplished! I mean, I know u have work to do and it's not easy, but you've made such progress. it's such a good thing. Yay! :)
Is seeing a therapist new for you or have you been going for a bit? Do they know about the pills?
I'm currently looking for one who specializes in anxiety disorders, as I know I use my pills as a way to cope... even though I also take anti depressant meds that help with my anxiety.
I'm trying to find a type of therapy that does behavioral as well as incorporates some eastern stuff like meditation. I'm so type A, and knowing how to relax/ quiet my mind would be great. I can't use drugs for that any more.

I'm doing well. I moved recently and I've been really busy which had helped me not over do it on my pills, as when I do they make me tired unlike some people where they get energy. Well, honestly I had two nights where I took more than I shouldn't have, but I caught myself and stopped it.
I have my extra pills in a separate container and haven't even looked at them. If I dont see them/ don't put them into my monthly pill divider, then I won't use them. So that's good as usually they are all spread out.

I got really sick with migraines for three days and am grateful I have meds to treat it, instead of having run out and having to duffer. So Im trying to keep that in mind too. That this medicine treats a problem I have and I will only be punishing myself if I misuse them and run out.
So I'm doing better in those ways.
I start my big cut (half of 180) so down to 90 (I explained my reasoning for going up to 180 from 150 in my other thread but basically I felt it was a really big jump to go down to 75 from only a month of 150, as I've been on 180 for years)... Anyway I go down on the 24th. So I'm excited about that. A bit nervous too of course as I haven't been that low in a long time.
But I know that that amount, in reality is fine. It's much more reasonable, will control my pain, and I won't be thrown into withdrawals along with my boyfriend the first month that we start living together. But we both feel really good to be starting this process FINALLY... we both really support each other in this, so with that I know I can do it. :) there are so many positive things happening in my life right now that only the pills can really derail them. Bo way can I let that happen. I'd never forgive myself. So I draw a lot of strength from all the goodness I have surrounding me and try to focus on how much better things will get in even just a few months. A year ago I was a mess (not just cause of the pills) so I really am holding on and do nor want to let go of all the nice things I have right now.

Keep on posting and let us know how u are doing!! I'll do the same.
I'm so happy for you!! :)
Good vibes!!
Wendy[/QUOTE]
Hi Wendy,

I know how difficult it must be to ration out the pills!! I could have NEVER done that myself during my taper... The day I reluctantly handed them over to my boyfriend, I knew I was done, because he is one of only a couple people who can stand up to me! Even more difficult, though, was having old "friends" tell me that if I need "anything", they could "help" me...but thank god, I was finally ready... My therapy is a new thing. I had therapy a long time ago, but not for too long, and it was mainly to try to see if my ex-husband and I wanted to be married... And honestly, I was done with our marriage 3-years before we actually ended it. I love my ex and we'll be friends forever, but we were way too young and dumb to know how to nurture a relationship... Anyway...yes therapy. I have friends who have been in therapy for 15-years, and I'm not one to judge, but if I can't figure it out in max a year or two...what I mean is that I don't want to end up whining in therapy for the rest of my life...because I'm sure I could...I can whine like a pro...I want to find a way to be happy and cope with everyday life without medicating. Anyway....but who knows, maybe I will need it for longer, I won't rule it out...

Thank you. For all of your posts and I hope anyone who reads this knows that my opinions about my life and decisions are just that...mine! We all have a different path and I tend to be a little sarcastic, but whatever path you are on, I wish you the best!





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