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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

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Re: Christine???
May 16, 2002
Hey Michelle

Thank you for asking!!!

I am fine, thanks - I have been struggling to maintain my sobriety - I was not going to meetings as I should have, and you know what happens then! "Dont let the things that AA/NA gives you take you away from AA/NA". Truer words were never spoken. For me, I HAVE to go. It's the medication for the sickness I have. I guarentee that if I stop going to meetings, I will relapse.
It's also hard to forgive - me and others. I am working with a therapist - I will do my fourth step (searching and fearless moral inventory - yuck) there with her soon - a safe environment to bare my soul!!! I hear from EVERYONE who has done this step that it is very "freeing" and boy would I love to dump the ball and chain of resentments.
I am also a non-believer, I don't believe in God, so the Higher Power issue has always been an issue. I have tried "faking it" - doesn't work for me - it's not me. I have come to trust that little inner voice that tells me right from wrong - the one I choose to ignore when I am out there.

Finally, the tone of this board seemed to change for a while - I was really not happy with it - and that is just one more thing to "get over" - I counted on this board for support and it is a great tool - then all of the sudden I felt knocked around a bit regarding some of my posts. If my head had been in the right place it wouldn't have mattered.......

LASTLY... some of you may remember that my children were living with Dad in Texas -sooooo far away as a direct result of my disease. My 14-year old daughter decided to live with me and my fiancee this past Christmas, and life with a teenage is all-consuming!!!! That is only one of the many gifts I was given by my sobriety.

thanks for reminding me that this is where I need to be.

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