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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

I am a girlfriend of a very wonderful man who unfortunately has a drinking problem. He has, however, decided for his own reasons to work at sobriety. We don't see each other at the moment as we decided, we each needed time apart. Though I have known him 2 years, there is still a lot of hurt and broken promises but I love him. I have informed myself about the disease of alcoholism and addictions and I know that he did not want to do or saying all these things. I can separate the person I know he is inside from the man that his addiction makes him become. What I.m trying to say to you, is that you are responsible for how you live your life but you also have the power to change it. It just has to be important enough to you.Also addiction is a very cunning thing and while in it, you are trapped to a certain degree. If I were your wife what I would find more important, is what you do about it now that you yourself believe it is a problem. If she still loves you (which I'm sure she does if she did before as I know, however much my b/f hurt me, I always love him but I may choose not to be with him as there is only so much a person can take). Don't expect her to believe you - you have to earn her trust - but if you want to do it, do it for you. She will see the changes without you having to tell her. Inform yourself about addictions and you will find the relief that a lot of things you have felt guilty for, are part of the disease and not your character or soul. YOu will be helped, knowing about the addiction and how it is very powerful.It doesn't reflect on who you are as a person.I still have to tell my b/f this too. He is about a month sober and is really stressed again but it is up to him to learn to deal with his own feelings.I hope for him that he will manage it as I know, he is in hell when he drinks too.Read about it and perhaps try meetings. Talk to your wife honestly - it's so important to be honest - but don't expect anything of her and ask her not to expect anything of you (which she may not do already).Believe there is a better life. Things will work out naturally once you make the committment to change your life. Good luck...

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