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Re: Help!!!
Aug 20, 2002
Its me Mai again. I am going on day 8, Yeah!!!! I still feel like ick though. When will this end. I hurt from the top of head to the bottom of my feet. Gosh, I would give anything to be able not to have to run to the bathroom continously! I read the posts for the vitamin supplements from naval hawk - Pay day is two weeks away cannot afford it now but I am going to buy them as soon as I can. I am desperate. I hope maybe I will have the money sooner cause Im sure I could use it NOW! I tried the pain mngmnt clinic for the clonodine etc... I was hoping for advise like NavalHawk gave you know viamins, yoga, meditation etc.. but the Doc wanted to prescribe more Narcs - I am fed up - I will try one more pain mngmt clinic that my friend goes to hopefully they can help me w/out the narcs. It was so hard telling the Dr NO!!!! I cannot take narcs - they just don't seem to listen but I am really proud of myself for turning them down. All though I felt like I was going to have a panic attack when he offered them part of me was screaming TAKE THEM!!!! You can finally stop the stomach cramps but the more sane side of me said NO DO NOT TAKE THEM YOU WILL ONLY PROLONG YOUR MISERY!!!!I want to be me again. I want to be happy. I want to be a better Mother my children deserve it. I want to play and play. We did bake cookies this weekend. But I was cranky the entire time. I feel so bad for the kids I wanted it to be a nice time and I feel like it was disapointing for them. They are still eating the cookies but the time is not what I envisioned it would be. I don't know how much more I can take. I want to be me again. I feel like maybe I may be lost forever or maybe there isnt really a me anymore. Im sorry Im rambling. I had better close for now.

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