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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


Addiction & Recovery Board Index


Good topic! I have often told my boyfriend that I feel we are similar in many ways though I am not "noticeably" addicted to anything. Society would not even consider me addicted but I am (but am slowly less) to my boyfriend - relationships, security, companionship, etc...all traits that make me an ideal candidate for being an enabler!
I have had to fight hard my "learnt" impulses of needing my boyfriend in my life to make and measure my own happiness which has led me in the past to demand certain things from him, be constantly disappointed when he didn't give it to me and focus on his happiness more than my own.
I have grown past that and now am leaving him alone to wallow in his "illusion of blissful drunkeness" as he still hasn't decided to go for help. As I posted before, he cuts off from me during the week while he goes off drinking and I usually hear from him at the weekend when we have a day or two together. I accept this for the moment but know myself, I won't be willing to let him "pop" back in to my life whenever HE feels like it.
Back to the topic though. I see similarilties in our behaviour. I have focused on him as he does on drink. Sometimes I haven't been able to get my mind turned around though I knew, it was obsessive behaviour. Now I am in a better place (though I see him less and he drinks more) as it doesn't affect me as badly as before.
I think, it is true that we all have addictions of sorts, for whatever reasons...but the trick is to become aware of it, face up to it and DEAL with it. Most people just continue living on the way they always have as it is easier for them.
And yes, I have been lucky, inspite of all, to experience what it is like to be loved and to love completely. Whatever happens with my boyfriend and myself, we love each other and that has helped us to fight our own addictions more than anything else could.





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