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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

And I'm absolutely terrified. I've been taking anywhere from 8 - 12 1Omg pills of oxycodone a day for the last year. I was prescribed these for pain after I was diagnosed with a life-altering chronic illness two years ago. In the past six or eight months, I've been using them to get high and cope with all the stress life brings; the ups and downs of this disease, the unexpected death of a friend, and everything else.

But I'm sick of counting pills and being worried about having to face down CT withdrawals. Sick of the lack of motivation, hate the lack of a sex life and apathetic views towards everything. So anyway, I get my refill on Monday, and I decided I'm going to start tapering down. Start at 8 a day, go down to 5 - 6 after three days, so on, so on. I've done CT withdrawals twice before - those weren't NEARLY as bad as pill WDs - and once from Norco about a year and a half ago. But I got right back on them because of pain.

And I am really, REALLY scared of not having the high of the meds to fall back on when something happens. Not only that, but NOTHING besides opiates work for my pain [ I've tried EVERYTHING before I got prescribed norco two years ago ], so I'm worried that I'll let the pills control me again once I get down to 2 - 3 a day. I was thinking of giving them to my Mom [ I'm 23 and live at home since I need assistance occasionally walking / getting up, etcetc ] and having her control when I get them so I don't start upping the number I take as my tolerance builds.

But I guess basically, I'm just kinda anxious and really scared. Like, I DON'T wanna end up here again in another year, you know? Kinda looking for support, and also if anyone knows any medication that works on pain but doesn't get you high, since that's the crux of my problems right now.

Thanks in advance, everyone. <3

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