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I'm 28, live in Northern Ontario. It's already snowed here for 2 days and Halloween hasn't even passed.

I have a fibrosed pancreas. I have chronic pancreatitis. Only 50% of my pancreas is left. It only flares up about once every 2 months. I am vegetarian, and gluten free. I am dyslexic, learning disabled, particularly in math. I have a hand eye co ordination delay. At 15 years old I had Achilles tendon lengthening surgery to correct my habitual toe walking, which was causing a severe scoliosis. I have hip displasia, and orthostatic Hypotension. I also have a hole in my heart between the two walls of unoxyginated blood to be oxiginated and recirculated and the oxiginated blood that will be re circulated. So I get less oxygen then everyone else with every heart beat. Doctors say it isn't bad enough for surgery. I suffer from severe anxiety that left untreated prevents me from being able to interact normally with scociety, and take 150mg of Welbutrin to help with it so I don't get panic attacks in public.

I wish someone could help me with my allergies. I have to take 3 24 hour Allergy pills a day just to take the edge off. Then I am drowsy all day because I’m on ODSP and can’t afford the legit Aerius.

I can only use unscented health store all natural shampoo or else my face goes beet read my scalp breaks out in hives, I start scratching everywhere because my body is burning and I’m in so much pain, and I have trouble breathing. Sometimes I scratch who hard my scalp bleeds.

Every morning I wake up with my pillow wet from snot as if I had a cold. The first thing I do is grab my nose and squeeze. It burns so bad I’m crying before I’m fully awake. Everytime I touch my face nose neck or head I get a rush of a feeling of a thousand bugs crawling over my skin stabbing a million times with their burning feet. I can’t talk, my voice has changed. I turn over and put on my glasses just to blink and feel my eyes squish loudly as a stream of eye juice splats on the inside of my lenses. Typical allergies. Only mine aren’t seasonal. Mine are this bad, all the time, and sometimes worse because I have trouble breathing. I immediately start clawing at my nose and mouth because they are burning so bad. I have visions of ways to remove my nose and mouth from my body so I don’t have to deal with this pain, but that would be self mutilation. I get out of bed go to the bathroom and my face is red inflamed and puffy. There’s this pink butterfly print on my face skin from my allergies. I wish I could just be naked all day and not let anything touch me. My skin is burning with hot searing pain as it is. I hate clothes. I try to do my daily activities but I have to keep clawing at my nose it won’t stop burning, and my scalp it won’t stop itching. The pain is 9 out of 10 so anyone who tries to touch me or talk to me in the morning before I take my first allergy pill I either run away from, or can’t talk to because I can’t connect my thoughts the pain is so bad. It hurts so bad.

I try to get dressed but my skin feels so hot that everything hurts to the touch. My eyes feel like soaked sponges and I can’t squirting my eye juice everywhere. I can’t stop sniffling or else everything falls out. Finally after eating some breakfast. Rice Crackers with a Macadamia Cashew Butter, with some Organic Coacoa nibs sprinkled on top so I can swallow my 1st 24 hour allergy pill of the day. In order to survive I take 3 a day every day. They don’t help much. But they take the edge off enough that I can hold my thoughts to construct sentences and appear normal if I try hard enough. If I don’t I spend my day sitting in the corner of my house, crying. clawing at my body whatever area hurts the most, struggling to breath. Sometimes I scratch so bad that I break through the skin and bleed. But that is the most relief I can get is a little blood loss. Maybe if I shave my head bald the skin itching would be better I think.

I wish I could afford laser hair removal surgery for my whole body. I’d do anything to help. So I take antidepressants but they don’t help at all with the allergies at all. Just the anxiety I suffer from. I want to go for a walk today but I’m scared I might bump into someone wearing perfume that would make my whole body break out in burning hives. Then I’d have to taxi home because it’s too painful to walk, and hop into an icy shower hoping that maybe if I let enough icy water run over my body… the heat and burning might go down, and the irritants might go away and my skin might feel better. It’s so painful I look all over my body and wish I could see the stabbing beetles I can feel crawling over my skin and through my body. I use glycerin soap unscented of course, and coconut oil on my skin. Nothing soothes. Everything burns. I try not to sniffle because it makes the burning worse. I spend hours feeling like there are a thousand spiders eating my sinuses and throat from the inside out raw. Thank god the allergy pills take the edge off enough that I can contain my thoughts, so I don’t feel so crazy anymore. I’m unable to work because of them. I can’t stand the scents in stores. I can’t even try on new clothes in a store change room without breaking out. I have to purchase them after measuring with a tape measure, hope the fit after I take them home and wash them 2 or 3 times first in unscented soap.

I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m on a gluten free diet. Just in case. I don’t eat meat. I’m a raw food girl. I don’t use anything scented or chemical in my house, Unscented clothes wash. No fabric softener except vinigar. No scents in the house. No scented spray, no hair spray, no make up, no hand cream, no scented candles, or incense. No scented hair products, No Make up. I use unscented deodorant the crystal kind, but it still burns, and only pure unscented glycerin soap if I think my skin can take it, and coconut oil for my skin because it’s so sore all the time and often dry because I scratch so much. I don’t even use chemicals to clean my place. I use boiled vinegar to clean, or baking soda and water, and unscented dish soap. I wear blue rubber gloves when I clean even the dishes. I don’t understand what’s wrong with me? Can anyone help? I live on disability so I can’t afford to see a private allergist. My doctor had me tested for food allergies and I’m only allergic to curry and kiwi, dust, mold, and weeds.

Every time I go to see my doctor my allergies just don’t show up like they do at home. No matter what I say I can’t get the words right to describe what it’s like living with allergies. My doctor says “They are just allergies”. I wish the were JUST allergies.” The air in her office is dry so my sniffles and congestion relieves.

Even my bf is unscented, though he finds it a struggle because being a guy he sweats more. But without that I wouldn’t be able to hug him y’know?

Sometimes if my allergies get really bad and I’m really struggling to breath my body starts shaking really bad uncontrollably. It’s frightening. It makes me feel like I’m going crazy. I feel like my doctor thinks I’m over exaggerating everything. She tells me it's just panic attacks. Or maybe she believes it’s psychosomatic because My allergies seem to dissipate every time I see her.

I've had panic attacks and my body never shakes like that when I have them. Sometimes my body shakes like that during a pancreatic attack because I'm in so much pain.

If anyone out there has any advice for anything I might not have tried please help me. I live on disability and can’t afford clothes let alone to see an allergy specialist. I’m not sure there is much they could do for me anyways. I’m really worried about my liver. On the allergy box’s you get from the pharmacy they say don’t take more than one tablet a day. But I must take 3 just to take the edge off. I take one in the morning with breakfast. One at lunch with food. And one at Dinner with food. I don't tell my doctor I take these for fear she will tell me I must stop. Then I will never be able to leave my house because I break out so badly.





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