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Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board


Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Board Index


Hi Kalico -

Welcome! So sorry that you mother is in such a condition and that you have to deal with it. It is difficult as I'm well aware. It is a help that at least your mother is geographically close to you.

At the top of this thread is very helpful information about the 7 stages of Alzheimers. If you haven't read it yet, I think you will find it most informative. The list addresses cognitive functions rather than just the physical and task-oriented problems that Alzheimer's causes those who are mobile. Hope this helps you understand you mother's behaviors and limitations. It is so sad to see a loved one acting so completely different from the person you've known and loved your whole life. There's a poem that calls the new and unwelcome personality The Imposter.

My mother had Alzheimer's and was mobile through much of the decline. 18 months before her death, she forgot how to walk, so spent the last of her life in a wheelchair. She didn't mind at all. Her symptoms became apparent when she was 85. I am an only child and was living across the country at that time. Before circumstances allowed my family to move to be near Mom, she had to be moved to an assisted living facility, then 8 months later (just after we moved into our new house near her) had to be moved to a locked unit. She didn't notice. The unimaginable actually happened - she did forget me. I was sure that could never happen. Oh, well! Mom was 88 when she died.

Glad you found us! When time permits, do read back over the other posts. There is a lot of good information, good ideas, coping strategies, and shared frustrations vented here. You are most certainly not alone on this unwelcome path.

Wishing you well - Barbara :wave:
Hi Kalico!!

I had a 'calico cat' many years ago ... surprisingly called ... "Calico" .. no awards for us for originality (another cat was called .. famously .. Puss puss"). Sorry, bringing up childhood memories here!! LOL

The 7 stages of Alzheimers we have as a sticky at the front of this board is merely a guide. My MIL has symptoms ranging from ALL the issues, but I would say she regularly bounces between stages 5 and 6 yet sometimes shows signs of 7, then she'll regress back to a 4 or 5. It's only a guideline, every single person is an individual. There are many common things throughout however, and I'm sure, with further reading and your own research, you will discover this.

I have a similar problem with my MIL as you do with your Mum. My MIL has had a speech problem longer than she's had dementia, but because of her lack of words, people have assumed she's worse than what she really is. She's INSTANTLY written off as fully demented!! Other people (people, not professionals) believe that the dementia isn't as bad as first thought, because she can't tell you anything different. Other people see both issues together and can see between the lines and figure it out, but I guess, NOBODY will really know because of the lack of words!!! A mini mental can't be done, because she might actually KNOW the Prime MInisters Name, but she can't SAY it .. she knows the TIME visually, but can't SAY it but NOW she can't write it either ... ah ha !! THAT IS part of dementia!!

It's hard, but you need to find a sympathetic professional who is willing to look past the obvious and delve a little harder and not assume your Mum is to be totally written off ...

I sound like a broken record when I say "it's a hard road to travel" but it's true .. it's hard on everybody .. the person with the problem, the loved ones who help, the ones who don't want to know and everybody that comes into contact with them ....

Goodluck, welcome and feel free to vent .. we all do that bit quite well ! LOL

Hugs
Sally





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