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Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Board Index

Re: Money Questions
Jun 28, 2007
I have some of the same issues, in connection with Social Security disability monies. I segregate DH's expenses as much as possible to fill out the reports verifying that the money is being spent for him. I have one small credit card that I only use for DH's expenses (clothing, drugstore stuff, haircuts, even some medical costs, etc), which helps to separate his costs from family expenses. I also have a notebook in which I keep of mileage when I take him to the doctor or on other outings. I calculate a small percentage of general housing, utility, auto and food bills as his share of general living expenses. I keep all receipts. DH's costs always far exceed the Social Security checks, but I figure I'm able to provide documentation whenever requested.

I worked with a lady who was taking care of her father-in-law, and had a problem with relatives who thought she was getting rich as his caregiver (HAH!). She checked the cost of an aide and estimated the cost of his care. She told them that they had three choices. They could (1) put her father-in-law in a nursing home (expensive and money would be used up quickly), (2) they could pay her to be the aide and to take care of him as long as she was willing to do it, or (3) she'd go back to work and she & her husband would contribute 1/3 of the cost and they could contribute the other 2/3.

There wasn't even much money involved! Once she snapped back with a budget, proof that she was keeping track of costs, and a demand for contributions to his monthly care, her brothers-in-law backed off really fast. (Eventually even she couldn't give the 24-hour care that he needed and he had to go to a nursing home.)

Isn't it amazing that the people who are most worried about having losing an inheritance aren't the ones who are doing the caregiving? If they did, they'd realize that savings, pensions and Social Security don't go very far when you're looking at taking care of an AD patient and ultimately having nursing home costs...

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