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Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Board Index

Hello, everyone. I'm relieved to have found an active forum where I can get a little advice and support once in a while!

My husband's 85 year old grandmother with Alzheimer's has come to live with us. I am 37, have 6 children that I homeschool and I never thought I'd be in a position (at this point) to add in a very disabled grandparent! Quite simply, her funds for the assisted living facility ran out and there isn't enough to get her into another place now. She is from WV and we moved her up here to Cleveland with us last week.

I believe she is near or in stage 6. I've been amazed at the wide cognitive abilities and lack thereof with this disease! One day she will joke and carry on a short, since her dr. appointment this morning she has been almost completely uncommunicative and exhausted. In her chair all day. We have a home health aide come in M-F to help in the mornings and will be attempting adult day care 2x a week to see how that goes. Between homeschooling my children and everything else, I don't feel that I can give her the kinds of social activities that might be helpful.

Anyhow, I just wanted to say hello and introduce myself! Can I ask a first question? This will sound so negative, but because she's not *my* flesh and blood I can be a little bit more practical and detached: At what point would you all say that the benefit of dementia meds becomes, well, negligible or unnecessary? She is completely incontinent and does not do much unassisted or without direction, including eat, dress herself or any other self-care, etc.

On a day like today when I can't seem to get her to take her pills, separately or crushed and mixed in with food, I wonder how much longer it will be worth it to try? I'm doing my best to be a loving and responsible caregiver, and I worry that on the occasional days when I can't get a dose in that it's having an adverse effect. Any opinions on this? She is diabetic, also, but I'm only talking about the dementia meds, NOT those that are for her other health concerns. Thanks!

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