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Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Board Index

Hello, hope ya'll don't mind my railings, but I need support.. Long story - but then, who doesn't have a long story :)

My Mom, 76, has been in decline for about a decade now with dementia.
It started as simples as forgetting place names and peoples names.

Aug '05 -Four years ago she was diagnoses with Dementia to complicate her already present diabetes (which she adamantly denied having so she ate poorly and didn't take her mediacation) and heart condition. At that time she lived alone in a 2-story house. She fell in her bedroom and was unable to get up. She stayed there, on the floor helpless, for three days until her neighbor/housekeeper found her. After 3 month hospital stay /rehab, the doctor recommended assisted living and quit driving. She said she was fine.
Refused to give Power of Attorney, no living will, etc.

Myself, the youngest of 5 siblings (only child of her 3rd husband - she left the other kids with their fathers, grandmother, etc.) became estranged when I insisted she take care of herself. I have 2 young children, one with special needs (autism) and a husband. Didn't need the drama so I left her alone according to her wishes.

Two years ago, she almost ran her car into the front window of a 7-11. She had no recollection of where she was or where she was going. After a brief hospital stay she was sent home by herself and had her license revoked.
Still no Power of Attorney.

The truly angelic neighbor continued to care for my mom and her duties increased. She began to make sure Mom took her medication, did grocery shopping, took her to dr appoitments and eventually wrote checks for Mom to sign because utilities were being cut off. It is by the grace of God that this woman took care of her and not clean out the bank account while she was at it.

Fall of 2008 - Mom began to be fecal and urinary incontinent. Starting wearing depends in the spring '09. May '09, Mom started to fall...daily. One of these falls, the neighbor was unable to help Mom up so called ambulance. At this point the neighbor was helping my Mom upwards of 5-6 times a day with medication, meals and bathroom duties. A 3 week stay in hospital resulted in diagnosis of NPH with a CSF shunt being put in. She asked for dead relatives to take her home. She scored around 16 on MMSE. Too late for power of Attorney. I, as next of kin, give medical consent.

She was released on Medicare rehab. After 4 weeks, medicare stopped because she wasn't making any progress. She quit asking for dead people to take her home, but wanted to go home nonetheless. She denied needing assistance to walk despite being in a wheel chair or going to the bathroom despite having poop in her pants as she said it. Her MMSE score dropped to 12.

She needed to be sent to a long term care. We had not power, she would not go. We were looking at having to call adult protective services because legally my hands are tied. Guardianship is out becuase of her estate (long story)

My Aunt, her sister, manage to get Mom to consent to put her on the checking account and we got her to sign her long term care insurance claim form and we drugged her up to go to the new facility.

She was admitted to an Assisted Living for AZ and Dementia on July 1. Her MMSE is now 7. She adjusted better than anyone expected. Mornings were rough, but in the afternoon she would talk to people, crack jokes, etc.

However, starting on July 9th she has become beligerant to the staff - using the F bombs at will, baracading herself in her room and smearing feces around. Calls everyone whores and has hit some staff members.

By July 17th they upped her Haldol dose to 2mg 2x a day and it is finally having an effect. Psychiatrist took a look yesterday and she was unable to answer ANY of the questions on the MMSE. Psychiatrist, Doctor, Nuerolgist, AL Nurse all agree that the shunt is operating properly. Psych say she is now in stage 7 dementia. She has all the critera for stage 6 as listed on this board. They are going to let the new scrips do their thing (HAB, and Seraquel) for a few weeks and do some more evaluations.


My Aunt is coming up (she lives 9 hours away) to decide on final stuff. What do with house, belongings, money, etc.

She has lost a lot of weight - she was on hunger strike at rehab and started eating again with anti-depressants. But she picks at her food.
The last 2 visits she knew I was someone familiar but no recognition as to who I am - just vague insults, nothing to indicate that she was insulting her daughter. I understand now that was the disease talking so I am handling it...ok. From what little I have read, my mom is textbook dementia.

How long does it take once you are at this stage, before it is over?
I pray it goes quick. PLEASE say I don't have YEARS of this to endure. For her and MY sake.

Thanks for reading.


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