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Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board


Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Board Index


Today has been a bad day. This morning was fine, after breakfast I told him he needed to write the check for money for everyone's present and told him where the other bills he wanted to pay were. Then I went to get the flat on my car fixed and drive it to my daughters and leave it there and drive Dad's car home. It took maybe 2 hrs. When I came home he started yelling that I couldn't leave again, that "someone" had called and the "thing" was going to be turned off. I couldn't tell me who or what at first, the he said "the water". He was furious at me because I taken "it" to them. And then he was furious because he would have paid it on time if I hadn't taken his car away. I called and talked to the water co. and his bill was past due, but they don't call people. I looked thru other utility bills and didn't a late one, looked in his check book and there was a bill with a disconnect notice.

A few minutes later, I was fixing cereal for my breakfast/lunch, he jumps up in his chair, glares at me and the start yelling about what did I do to the TV, he get up and comes towards yelling that I had done something, and that was a little scary - then I noticed he thought I had the remote. I yelled at him I didn't do anything to his TV and to stop yelling at me. He starts looking around for the remote and there it is in HIS chair. I don't know what was going on with the TV, I didn't notice channels changing - either he imagined it or accidently hit a botton on the remote.

After I ate I told him I had talked to the Water Co. and told them we would be in to pay the bill Mon. He starts yelling again that no we won't go Monday, we'll go today and I agree we would go went I took Mom to her hair appointment at 3:00pm. I asked him if he had written the check for Christmas money yet and he said no, he would do that right then and I watched him sit down and thought he had started to write it. At 2:20 he wanted to leave to pay the water bill and I told him I wasn't planning to leave for another half hour. At 2:30 he was asking Mom if we could take her there early and said I was ready to go if he wanted, and where was the Christmas check? He hadn't written it yet. He sat down to write the check at 2:35 and finally finished at 3:05. I thought about asking him if he wanted help but didn't want to face his rage. Mom was standing over his shoulder and knew it was almost 3:00pm. I knew this was a last minute appointment I had made for my mother that morning and that the hair dresser had several openings and was working till 5:30, so I decided to wait and see how it played out. I was courious if Mom would notice anything "off" at how long it took Dad to write the check, she didn't.

We got her there 15 min. late, went and paid the water bill, went to the bank where we got the Christmas money and Dad cashed a check that was a dividend or some kind of payout on an IRA, that I don't know anything about. It was $150 and he put it in his billfold. When I dropped off home after going to the post office (the one that doesn't have the holes in the mailboxes), I came in for a minute and he ask me to come into his bedroom where he was counting his money. The bank had shorted him he thought. He thought he had cashed a personal check for $200 which he usually does so that he will have money in the house, and deposited the check for $150. Or something like that, it was really hard to figure out what he thought. He couldn't understand or believe me when I tried to tell him what he had really done.

When I was leaving to pick Mom up he asked me where his driver's license was, I finally figured out he meant his car keys. It only took 4 hours of having his car back here for hime to start asking for the keys. I put the remote keyless control on my key chain and the ignition key is on a long chain around my neck.

This is the first time I've had to deal with any type of agression or rage. It probably wasn't nearly as bad as what you guys have experienced, but I wasn't expecting it to happen, and when it did I thought it might excalate beyond my control; this was always the experience with my mentally disturbed granddaughter when I tried to raise her. I've called about the temporary residency at the assisted care facility and I can get him a room there in a emergency, on a week to week basis. I called his doctor's office and they said if Dad's refusing to come in, which he is, I should call the CICCOA, and gave me that number. I don't know what that is, but she said I would be assigned a case worker and led through the process of getting them diagnosed and in somewhere. I'm calling the lawyer tomorrow morning and trying to get an appointment before the first of the year. I'm planning to call more facilities and see if they handle mid to late term dementia, or whatever term Dad is in now and will be going into next, and I know I can't know that for sure until I get a diagnosis. Is there anything I'm forgetting?

Love, JoJo
Yep, Deb, if we had a basement down here in Florida my husband would have been cowering in it too! Now mom has decided she no longer needs dinner or company of anyone in the facility. She is going to stay in her apartment and no one will tell her differently!!! Harumph!
I should know better than to try to make her go!

My brother and his wife are here so that has thrown everything off schedule.

SHe started that new medicine for depression and sleeping at night and the crying is now over that lasted for over two weeks straight due to her forgetting her Chuckie was dead. No mention of him anymore. SHe has not forgotten him, just doesn't bring him up except to call him a dirty name for leaving her.

But when one problem leaves another arises. Now it is the dinner and staying in issue. We have more company coming in for the week...her grandchildren..my brother's 3 kids...they are coming to see grandma for what could possibly be the last time..they all live up north. So, I guess I will leave this dinner thing alone til they leave and if she isn't going to go I will have dinner sent to her room. I am also going to talk to someone today about fnally filling in for me 3 days a week. I can't even imagine how mom is going to react to that one...seeing someone else besides me showing up on her doorstep!! We will try to introduce the new companion gradually...eventually she will be with mom three days a week for two hours. And if she puts up too much of a fight on it we will then have to take the next drastic step and move her to the AL facility next door.

Due to the new medication, we think she is sleeping at night and now, just this week, she has begun going to sleep after we leave around 1 in the afternoon and is wanting to stay there through dinner into the next day. I think it is because my brother is here and when we take her back after our morning outings she is just plain pissed that we take her back and "dump" her...or "ditch" her. Her two favorite words now.

So...no easy answers. Unless you have any. (ok...that made me laugh...easy answers...hahahahaha)

Love, Meg





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