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Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board


Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Board Index


Re: Why am I Here
Mar 16, 2011
[QUOTE=bearcubs;4707588]My mother is living in a nursing home for 8 months now. She has just started to ask me "why am I here" over and over. I told her this is her new home and she said I wouldn't choose to live in a hospital. She has AD but I wouldn't dare tell her as she would be upset and angry with me like she was in the early stages. What should I tell her now??:dizzy:[/QUOTE]

My father-in-law has been in the nursing home for memory impaired for 7 months now. He thinks he is working in the home. Since he always wants to work, this home seems to make him think he is working as a chief doctor or something (he was a professor.) The first evening he arrived he asked us to pick him up again after the flight (we moved him.) He said "you promised..." The first week he told us he has no business there. All he ever wanted is to work with my husband, which is never possible - not even in the same field. They are both professors...
But when we are not there, he likes those people and the food (pureed or regular.) Since he is in stage 6, he does not remember unless he sees us.

Probably your Mom is ok with the staff, but when your Mom sees you, she would ask you this question and it is natural. My FIL does not ask this anymore but he tends to be more negative with us (complains more and comments negatively about the home.)
I see that he has 2 faces - one with the family and the other one with the caregivers there. I would not worry too much about it. We leave in the the middle of his activities so he would not ask to "work" with us again. In his mind, he still thinks like that. He does not care where he is but he just wants to work with my husband...
Basically he forgot the family until he sees us again.

Just use activities to distract her and try not to talk about it.

Regards,
Nina





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