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Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board


Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Board Index


Thanks again for your reply and insight, Deb. I should have clarified, that business about them forgetting the chair alarm was the day before she was discharged from the rehab. So instead of starting a whole thing over there when she was leaving in the morning, I called the social worker in charge of the AL who is familiar with us, and let her know what was going on. I said basically, mom is looking to break the rules the first chance she gets, and I won't be at AL tomorrow when she's coming in, so keep an eye on her as best as possible in the beginning.

She's in a Continuing Care facility with multiple levels of care. She went from a semi-independent apartment, to the rehab, and then back to a new full AL apartment. All are a 5 minute walk or short elevator ride from each other. So we're still getting used to this whole AL thing. I will indeed talk to them tomorrow about what the deal is with the food. I ate with her and it was not mechanically altered like she had at the rehab. At the care conference before her discharge, they told my aunt and I to meet at the wrong place, so we were a half hour late, and I missed the Speech Pathologist. I only got the notes later. So I really need to follow up, because right now I feel like I'm in the dark. However, she's getting Home Care right now, so I'm going to touch base with them tomorrow too.

Things are just bad right now. My mom is a shopaholic / very very organized hoarder. While my Aunt and I were moving her last month, naturally we had to downsize her for the umpteenth time. I also finally took away her credit card and checkbook, which was long overdue. We left her with a lovely, safe apartment, with everything she needs, her favorite things, sentimental items, and all that. But we didn't think she needed a box of 20 wallets, 30 cosmetic cases (all of this was downsized from the last move) and 22 dishtowels. So she calls me a couple of times for the past few days, asking where this is and where that is. I'm trying all different answers, most of them honest. I could sense her starting to get agitated last night, and I told her I'd talk to her tomorrow.

At 8:45pm, when I'm enjoying the last night with my 3 kids that isn't a school night, the phone rings and it's her. I just know it's going to be trouble, so I don't pick up. 20 minutes later my aunt (mom's sister) calls, and tells me she just got off the phone with my mother and she was HYSTERICAL. Screaming at the top of her lungs, full drama, she has no money, she's a pauper, she's STARVING and can't buy food, we took all her things, she needs a blender, a drainboard, more dishtowels, ETC. Mind you, THIS IS MY MOM'S NON-DEMENTED PERSONALITY. She even told my aunt that she had called me and knows I'm avoiding her. Then she made my aunt promise not to tell me what she did with all the raging. She knows FULL well that this behavior is wrong, but she doesn't care. That's ALWAYS how she's been. If she wants to rage and carry-on about however she feels wronged, she's going to do it, and to hell with how anyone else feels.

I haven't spoken to her in 24 hours now, and I did not want to visit her today with at least 1 kid as I had originally planned. I'm going to have to call her before the end of the day. I am just in no mood to be screamed at right now. My middle child is starting Kindergarten tomorrow AND my husband has his citizenship test! I have a busy and exiting week ahead of me and I have no desire to deal with her and her STUFF after spending half my summer on it.

Annie :mad::mad::mad:





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