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Anger Management Message Board


Anger Management Board Index


toodalootoo,

I'm a 38 year old male and when I was 15, I had to respect my parents decisions; if I didn't and had an outburst, I'd get my head knocked off. My parents put up with NO crap whatsoever. I remember getting the belt on many occasions - not to mention a hard wooden/plastic spoon across my behind. I learned really fast to have respect for my parents, especially in public. My parents are West Indian and they're from the old school (which, in my opinion is the best). A few years ago, I complimented my mother on how she disciplined me when I was younger because if she didn't do what she did, I would've been out of control for sure. Words alone are not enough to keep your kids in check, let me give an example.

If I knew that the maximum punishment I'd get for stealing cash from my parents, would be a good talking to, I'd buy ice-cream for all my friends with their money :) But if I knew I'd get a beating, I wouldn't do it!

I don't think itís a phase that will pass, if he doesn't respect you now, what makes you think he's going to respect you five years from now? Communication is very important before and after you discipline your children. I always let my son know why he's about to be punished and afterwards, I tell him that I love him, but he has to respect and honor me.

I don't know what your situation is, but I believe life has a manual that we can learn from in situations like this. Here are a couple of verses:

"He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly." - Proverbs 13:24

"Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may be well with you in the land which the LORD your God is giving you." - Deuteronomy 5:16

Finally, try to break the silence when he's upset; go to him and hug him and tell him that you love him and explain why you made your decision (not that you have to give an explanation).

I hope it works out for you and your son, remember "love" can conquer any situation.

"And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love." - 1 Corinthians 13:13

Sorry for preaching, but I hope it helps.

:angel:





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