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Anger Management Message Board


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You sound like a caring person mouse. I have read some of your posts here on the different boards. I know that you are hurt and hope things change for you soon. I have a couple of questions/comments. Why would you want to hang out with the younger women in your office? Sure its nice to have coworkers as friends but there is quite a bit age differnce. Your 41 right? That's how old I am and although I am friendly with some younger coworkers, we really dont have that much in common. You sound a tad resentful in thier age and appearance.

Another thing that alarms me in your posts is that you dont like the fact that the men look at these younger women. You do say that you are happily married and sure everyone likes to feel attractive but you are obsessing about why these men are not looking at you.
I copied and pasted some of your posts on the different boards. Most all of the are related to your looks and how other see you. In some of them you sound kind of paranoid. In the first one you say that your coworker are talking about you but "you never caught her at it". I know that everyone has a bad day now and then. I work with about 50 other women in my department and I can tell you that I stay away from the cronic complainers. In that post, you said you stopped reporting your complaints alternating positive news with negative news. If I understand what you are saying is that now you are only speaking negativley 50% of the time. Thats still way too much. Maybe this is why people dont want to invite you to the social outings. In another post, your fearful that they are reading your posts here. From another post, it appears that you have been having problems socially for the better part of your adult life. Have you considered talking to someone about it? A professional. Maybe you are still wanting the attention from men now because you were hurt by not having any boyfriends. Does your husband give you the attention that you need? I dont know. Do you see a pattern in your posts below?


[I]I would always have something I was upset about, and I found out later that she would immediately run to her daughter-in-law (both worked in same dept.) and be like, "Guess what she (Mouse) is upset about today . . ." yes as if I was their morning entertainment. The thing is I never caught her at it and never discussed it with her, but I DID stop reporting my complaints. I changed up to maybe alternating positive news with negative news on a 1:1 ratio.[/I]

[I]
I can relate to backtomyoldself's problem, from a slightly different angle (social friendships as opposed to romantic). I had a terrible high school experience at an all-girl school, treated as a complete reject. Also had no boyfriends.[/I]


[I]I've even considered that people here somehow can read my emails and internet postings! I would expect that only the guys in IT and our big boss has that kind of access, but it is unbelievable, I'll complain about a co-worker in a post on here and the next day, she is cold as ice to me. Which just makes me more and more and more angry . . . . . . .(Oh I shut down every day so no one can snoop on my terminal after I leave)[/I]


[I]I just had to bump this up to show what a$$holes I work with. I look really pretty today -- because it's Halloween, I wore a beautiful low-cut lacy black "witch" outfit and wore nice makeup -- EVERYONE EXCEPT the people in my own department were allowing me to bask in the admiring glances. Then I get here and it's the same old ****. I'm like, I've had it. I want to know what bug crawled up all of their a$$holes and why no one is telling me what is going on.
Never mind -- it's a social issue, not sexual attraction one. [/I]

[I]OK -- It's Halloween, and I have on my "Beautiful Witch" outfit -- eyes lined in black w/black mascara, red lips, and a very low cut lacy black top that reveals a lot of my 36C cleavage.[/I]


[I]I may have shared on here already that I feel invisible at my job -- I was always used to lots of male attention and admiration, then stopped working in field ages 29 -- 37. Since I've returned to workforce I have been insulted and ignored so many times for younger and much thinner (in my opinion, LACKING in butt, hips, thighs and breasts) women.[/I]

[I]Reporting LIVE from the field: someone new (a rather cute young man, maybe early 30s) was being led down the hall by one of the guys who has been most ignorant toward me ( he completely excludes me from his after-hours and weekend socializing, he just had a party last weekend where everyone but me and a few other older &/or fatter &/or other-than-white women were NOT invited) -- I am walking behind them and the new guy just glances, then a second later he WHIPS his head around to check me out, then the jerk with him looked to see what the new guy was looking at and I could see the dismissive "Oh it's just Mouse" look as he kept walking and talking without missing a beat.[/I]


[I]There used to be a middle ground. No, there still is -- guys invites you to walk with him to get coffee, makes pleasant small talk, nothing crude; you get invited to lunches, after hours things, even out of work get-togethers; . . . also there is a VIBE for lack of a better word that is SO obvious when a man is standing near a woman that he finds attractive. I no longer get that vibe.

I put a link up to my pic so you can see that I'm not some monstrous looking thing (pic is a year & 1/2 old).[/I]





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