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Anger Management Message Board


Anger Management Board Index


part 1 of 2...


[QUOTE=Kari7171][B]Well, in the end he ended up taking her home and I have the day to myself. Yes, he is concerned that I am sleeping so much. It kind of concerns me also but it will have to change soon since I do have a job and will have to go back there sometime soon or find another job soon. I think that is part of why I am sleeping so much I am soo stressed over work lately that I just want to sleep to get away from everything. I just feel right now I need some time to figure out what I want to do. It's kind of hard to do that though if I am asleep. All I know is earlier this week when I was sleeping in the middle of the night I had a dream about work and it was very upsetting and jarred me awake and I was having a panic attack. I am not a person who even gets panic attacks. So there must be something wrong either with me or my job is really way too stressful. [/B] [I]

Is the job stress at the same level daily? You need to find ways to cope and relieve job related stress and any stress for that matter, while figuring out what it is you need to do, and take it from there, one day at a time.

Job stress steam needs to be blown off. If not, it will work on you and come through in in different ways, sleeping too much or too little, bad dreams, high blood pressure, misplaced aggression, self destructive tendency etc. If [I]it's[/I] not rid of, it will make your body and mind ill, set up camp and make you it's home until it's purged. It affects the entire family and often misunderstood. If you donít learn how to cope it can make you sick and turn you into someone you donít want to be.

I stayed in a very stressful job too long and it took a toll eventually. If this job is that stressful, get out and save yourself. I used to have bad dreams about that job. No job, no amount of pay is worth it. There is no reason you need to subject yourself to it. Lean on your husband for support. Think of your well being and your life. I donít know if he is, but he should be encouraging you to leave that place or encouraging you to get help. I suspect you donít tell him how bad it is but you know and thatís enough to get yourself out and also, do tell him. If I knew then what I know now, I would have taken the doctors note and done something useful with it. Donít let that job train your body for stress because once it happens itís hard to reverse. The longer the body is under stress the harder it is to undo. Itís not a cold you can shake. Lean on your spouse for the support. You need to tell him exactly what the job is doing to you and detail it and tell him you need his support to quit and regroup to move on. While your at it tell the doctor and donít fancy it up, tell it like it is.

Donít let anger be the way you vent. It hurts everyone who is subjected to it. It's negative energy that builds but can be vented constructively. It can take over in ways you might be unaware, and not knowing what to do about it I think is part of the reason your dealing with it as you are. That needs to change altogether. You need help to learn how as you have asked. Thatís a first step but follow up with it. Go to the doctor and ask him what you can do. Work on initiating internal dialogue and journal it, as the saying goes, can't change what we don't acknowledge.

Talking it out of your system will expel stress but why bother if you continually close down and to put it out of your mind? That wonít help you deal with issues. Itís the lawn, keeps growing, needs mowing. Let that goÖStress is the monkey on your back, while walking it off is a must, you need to get to the point that where the triggers are gone all together. Journal, it's a tool thatís harmless the paper wonít get hurt. Venting, pure steam is not intended for consumption by others, not good for them and if they are screamed at, then they have to offload the stress you gave them (not a gift) itís taking it out on them and thatís not something they deserve. Thatís another reason to walk away. It's a specific energy that's passed from one to another, the hot potato to no end. It can bleed into other situations as it has with the work situation, the frustration carriess over into your home life and doing a number.

Do you scream at work? Would work associates understand you more if you did? If so why? If no, why?

When you talk about it until your blue in the face and donít feel ďreleaseĒ and nothing ďhappensĒ does it mean they did not hear you? What makes you feel better, venting or being understood? Adrenaline moving about? Work out, you will get the same feeling. Bike ride. Physical exercise will release the hormones you want.

Some get involved in sports, power walking, tennis, handball, baseball, manifests, seeding elsewhere in life, it will stay and build until it's vented. When faced with that stress, holding it in and back, stuffing it down is not handling it-that is burying it until it diffuses at a later time.

Depression is anger turned inward. When it's bottled up like an improperly packed grocery bag, over/under eating, lift something too heavy-something eventually gives when the balance is missing. You know it but are not in touch with your heart long enough to have it mean more.

The frustrations you're having at work are coming home, and if that same type of pressure is felt at home, your reacting in the same way and it's not helping. In the title of your post, you say you are angry about never being consulted about your life. Do you feel the same way about work? If you sense you are being squeezed by your husband, it may be the straw that broke the camel's back because of the work situation and not really about him, that may be why there is an ďover reaction triggerĒ at home because itís really about work.

You are over the top with work stress and taking the frustrations out on them by yelling at them, possibly about the same issues, because of the mounting work stress. You may be getting dumped on at work and that's bound to carry over to get dumped at home, maybe not at first, but eventually it does, so itís unsuccessfully ďput offĒ.
Where do all those feelings go? Who gets the brunt, that release, yelled at?

Sleeping may be the coping mechanism you've adopted. Your doctor can help, tell him or her about the sleeping, bad dreams, your frustration level at home, about work and ask what you can do... [/I]

[B]I do know that one woman is switching jobs because of it and the other one pretty much talks about quitting every day. I did actually quit this week but they are begging me to come back. [/B]


If you go back, it should be on certain expressed terms, your terms! Don't let excess workload fall on your shoulders. Now would be a good time to brainstorm changes that could help the situation and make it a better place to want to be.

Do you take breaks or lunches? If not, you must and by law you are entitled to it. Promote high turnover, burnout and fatigue by denying breaks. If there is no employee lounge or place to have lunch, leave the building on break. If you stay at your station on break, it is not a true break and defeats the purpose. Get out, go to the deli, walk with coworkers etc. Brainstorm with your[I] team[/I]. If there is no employee lounge, is there space that may be designated for one? Guidelines and rules make for organized chaos, oils that machine. The more you are able to handle and take on the more they will give you. Can you make change happen their? I think you have leverage.

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