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Anger Management Message Board

Anger Management Board Index

First off ... I am the mom not the step-mom. I have to agree with you about disciple if it's done right. I guess when it comes to this I am lucky. I am living with my boyfriend ... going on 2 1/2 years now. He's had to discipline my son and he does it well ... at least I think so. He talks to him about things and yes he's had to yell a couple of times. My son was acting up. My ex has an out of state girlfriend. I know she has disciplined my son ... with words not physical. I haven't had a problem with it. I only have 1 child and he's 13 now ... gawd the teenage years. lol Her and I have never talked about it. I will say that if he ever came to me saying she was mean or did something I would ask her what happened. I would get to the bottom of things and then deal with it from there. If I felt that she handled things "wrong" (for lack of a better word) then I would ask that she handle things differently in the future. Maybe suggest examples. The mother also needs to remember ... these are children who think looking at them crosswise is mean. She needs to find out what happened and then deal with it on her end too. I am sorry you have to deal with it like this. I can't imagine the stress that puts on you. I can understand the job stress. Have you tried talking to her about things? Find out what she deems acceptable? I don't remember if you said if you've talked to her about it. Sounds like the mother may be a little bitter about things too which passes on to children. If they came in saying my mom said if you're mean to me again to tell her ... well ... sounds like she's encouraging her children to misbehavior while with you. I may be way off the mark on it but it's a thought. My ex ... well ... that's a whole other ball game. I could tell you horror stories. He never yelled at him but he neglected him. Like feeding himself but not his 3 year old son (while I was working day shift and he worked nites). Me finding out when I got home that my lil guy ate chips or pretzels during the day. So much stuff *sigh*. I never doubted he loved his child ... I did question his priorities. I guess what I am asking is if you've talked to the mother. Maybe find some neutrel ground. She has to be willing too. She has to remember that it's the children that are important. Disciple is a part of life. As a step-mom with them in your care then you have the right to yell at them when they're punching each other. Does she realize that a punch in the face (hit in the right spot) could lead to something serious? If you didn't say anything and it did lead to something bad you would be considered negligent. Please remember you have rights too. Maybe an anger management class would be helpful. I don't know. Sounds like you need some place to let the anger out. You're bottling it all up which is coming out in panic attacks. Least that is what my doctor said about the job stress I have been experiencing. I started having another attack while on lunch today. Actually it started right before lunch after having to deal with my boss. I know now what it is and can try to work through it while it's happening. You're right ... feels like something I can't begin to describe either. I felt like I was having a heart attack and the weight on the chest and the numb arm and not being able to think straight. Regarding the child support. Can your husband go back to court and get the child support lowered based on his income? I didn't think they could include yours in the way they base how much he has to pay. Would that help lower your stress in any way? Maybe allow you to work part-time instead of full time? My g/f's husband has to pay 300 every 2 weeks which leaves them with 500 every 2 weeks and he's supporting her and their 3 children. They've thought of going to court to try to get it lowered a bit. It causes so much stress between the 2 of them and hasn't allowed them to get ahead. Always seems like they're running to catch up. I don't know if I've helped or not. You're not alone ... there are others out here too.

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