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Anger Management Message Board


Anger Management Board Index


Answer a few questions: first from me:
How old are you both? How long have you been together?

Now answer a few that you should ask yourself:
Do I want to live like this the rest of my life?

If I can't talk to him when he is angry over something he did himself, what will happen when I have to talk to him about something I did wrong (like when you are married and maybe you bounced a check or dented the car)?

Why do I think I can 'fix' him when I don't even know 'why' he reacts this way?

I live with an angry husband who is very loud and gets ticked at the stupidist things. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to live without him. We have two boys and they are also affected by his yelling and quick to temper outbursts. Feel like we are always 'walking on eggshells.' It has gotten better over the years but not without great effort on my part on keeping a handle on my reaction to his actions and teaching my sons how to deal with the anger.
[QUOTE=sawbuck44]Answer a few questions: first from me:
How old are you both? How long have you been together?

Now answer a few that you should ask yourself:
Do I want to live like this the rest of my life?

If I can't talk to him when he is angry over something he did himself, what will happen when I have to talk to him about something I did wrong (like when you are married and maybe you bounced a check or dented the car)?

Why do I think I can 'fix' him when I don't even know 'why' he reacts this way?

I live with an angry husband who is very loud and gets ticked at the stupidist things. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to live without him. We have two boys and they are also affected by his yelling and quick to temper outbursts. Feel like we are always 'walking on eggshells.' It has gotten better over the years but not without great effort on my part on keeping a handle on my reaction to his actions and teaching my sons how to deal with the anger.[/QUOTE]



i am 20 and he is 22. we have been together 2.5 years.

i have asked myself wether i want to live like that the rest of my life before. and no i dont want to hear yelling all the time but i cant imagine not being with him because under that he is a really great guy.
I understand what you are saying. Although my husband is loud and gets angry quicker than I do - that just means that I have more patience than him. Sometimes my family wonders how I can live like this. It's not 100% yelling. Like you said under all that yelling he is a really great guy. I know HIM. I know why he is like he is. Maybe you need to understand that part of him. When he is willing to share that information. You may already know why he's like he is being with him for 2.5 years - you just need to put the pieces of the puzzle together. Think about what he's told you about his childhood, the relationship he has with his family - on an individual basis, and how his education was. I don't know how bad he gets or over what issues but if he gets mad about the same things and you can predict when he's going to get angry - at least he's consistent! I am not making light of anger. I don't think you need to be scared of it either. Anger does not always lead to someone getting physical with you. Doesn't mean you close your eyes to it either. I'm just saying it is a situation you can live with if you go into it with open eyes.

There is not one person that doesn't get angry. How we choose to react to situations that make us angry is the difference. When he is calm, 'teach' him how he should have reacted. Maybe say 'gee, that would upset me too. but ya know what?! I'm not going to let it get the best of me. I don't want to waste my energy getting upset over this.'





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