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Anger Management Message Board


Anger Management Board Index


:) i start of like this somedays but then others i feel like this :bouncing: with anger. i dated this guy for 2 1/2 years had a baby with him. he used to be the most sweetiest guy i ever new except for communicating but i let it slide cuz love makes u do stupid things sometimes. well when i first had got preg. he started changing and he was not sweet towards me anymore, mot there as much , i guess he felt as if he could run off and do stuff like drinks and hang out with the boys cuz he knew i would run after him. then once i had my son it lasted until my son was 3 mo old. he came in one day started packing his stuff and gave me no explantion on why he was leaving us just said he couldnt handle it anymore. I couldnt take i it him right in the nose, i felt so bad that i cried and tried to comfort him but he didnt want anything to do with me , he let me help him a lil and just left and whe have never been the same since. we tired thru out the 6 mo getting back together and it never worked, i have this uncontrollable anger towards him know because he doesnt live up to being a father the way i thought father were. doesnt pay child suppport but he seem to be so worried about what im doing who i am , but i do have to give him this much he does call and check every day to find out how his son is. my family thinks he does that just to keep in touch w me. sometimes he makes me so angery that i could hiT him again or things he says to me on the phone i would drive 20 miles to do something destructive to him ( not anything bad like killing ) like taking my anger out on his car whatever. ( AND KEEP IN MIND IVE NOT EVER DID THAT BECAUSE I PUT MY SON 'S LIFE FIRST) these major anger issue has caused me to be confused about life and has caused major depression and anxiety , it hasnt so bad that sometimes it is hard for me to deal with my kid as in everyday taking care of him...... i dont know what to do im lost....... please help me and for other that may have misunderstood my comments before here is more detail and explantion please respond>>>>>>>>>>>>..
[B]Girl!!![/B] You need to get professional help NOW. You have to put this jerk behind you, in your past!!! Focus on your children - they really need you to be good to them. Your post is scary. Believe me, I understand that kind of rage but it will just destroy you and those around you. It might be a symptom of some psychiatric disorder that can be treated. PLEASE. Get treatment.
:angel: Dear Miamore,
No, you are not psycho and what you are feeling is very normal. But the other poster was correct - you do need help. This is because the feelings you have are very powerful ones that you (by yourself) probably cannot change. You may say "why should I change?" when it is your ex-boyfriend that is behaving badly. The truth is, sadly, that none of us can change anyone else - we can only change ourselves. You don't have to start liking him again, or even forgiving him for his bad behaviour, but you DO have to reduce your anger towards him. Why? Because it is not hurting him - it is hurting you. You and your child are important here - not him. You need help to put the whole thing into perspective so you can live a happy life and continue to be a good and loving mother.

Find someone you trust (relative, friend, neighbour, minister, counsellor, etc.) to recommend a good service to you. I'm sure there are services in your area to help young mothers like you. Make an appointment and KEEP IT!! :) Remember that this is for YOU. You want to feel better and happier. In an ideal world, your ex. would come to his senses and be the sort of partner and parent you and your child deserve. But this may not happen - and being angry won't make it happen. So, for now, focus on you and your little one.

You are a lovely young woman (I can tell from your letter!) and you have your whole life ahead of you. Don't let one poor relationship make your life (and your baby's life) miserable. Seek help and find peace in the New Year. My thoughts and wishes are with you. Take care. :wave:
Hello, it's me again!! I agree with Baia. It is perfectly normal to be so angry at this guy. I get so angry at my bf sometimes that I feel like punching him as well (but I haven't and never would... I think!!). I think everyone feels this way at some point in their life. But your anger is not going to change anything, and is not healthy for you or your son. It may make you feel like you have your revenge temporarily, but it will be short lived and leave you feeling unsatisfied and silly. Not to mention, it wouldn't be providing your son with a very good role model. You can't change this guy. Nothing you can say or do will do it, and it is always going to be extremely frustrating for you. You have to either learn to accept it, and like mentioned, if you feel you can't do it on your own, then perhaps you need to speak to a professional as to how to best handle the situation (I don't have much experience sorry). It doesn't mean you are psycho, it just means that you need a little help dealing with the psycho's in your life!!!

It's a shame that you can't cut this guy right out of your life. It would make things easier for you. But you can't do that to your son. It must tear you apart to have to have so much contact with him, when I know that you still have feelings for him. But he was only going to make your life miserable, and he proved it again and again by hurting you and destroying your family with your son. Try from now on to only discuss things related to your son when he calls etc. Do not tell him what you've been doing, anything personal about your life etc etc, and don't show any interest in his personal life. Stick to the one subject of your son. If he makes excuses as to why he doesn't have the child support money, tell him that you are not interested in his excuses or why he can't do it, but you are disappointed because it is his son that he is hurting and not providing for, not you. If you try this method, it may make it easier for you after a while... not only to try your best to get over this guy, but it may make you less angry if you don't know all the details of what he's been doing and why he isn't being a good father and keeping his responsibilities. Remember, he's the one who made the choice to leave, so YOUR life is none of his business. Keep the contact strictly about your son, and let him know if he is crossing the line. Be firm with him and let him know where his boundaries are in your life now. That's my best advice to you... so I hope it helps!!!

Good luck, and hope you keep us updated.

PS. NOW I realise why you have such a hard time getting over this guy... cause he is CONSTANTLY in your face all the time :rolleyes: .....
yep storm girl u exactly right, like christmas eve we went to grandpa it is something we do every year, well i asked him if he wanted to go for his son, he agreed we were fine until after we get there and he tells me he dont have a present for his son , but in return he ask me to take him to walmart store something to get the baby something i was so frustarated all the store closed in two hours u know they were busy .... well endless to say he walk up with a 20 gift that didnt come from his heart......... well he call me at 1200 in the morning to wish me a merry christmas and sits and talk to me for 2 hours, i let him i know it was my fault, lets just say my conversation did not end very happily cuz i do do ur advice before u even wrote it i told him to go find someone move on and he got all upset and said things that made me jealousy and i stopped myself and said look i cant talk to u any more .... u need to make a dec either be a father and be there for ur son and pay support or stay away.......... his comment being drunk was well one day ill see him when he can talk and me and him will BE BUDDIES. i went off i said if u thing that for one day that ur going to come in our sons life after he cant talk and understand u will understand the pain of what i am talking about then .... cuz dont think he wont q u and when he comes crying to me cuz he is so upset me and u will have words........... is comment dont worry will be buddies ill explain ............. what the crap is that :confused: :confused: :rolleyes: sorry guys just venting
its so true :jester: he is like a kid even when we were together. i always took care of him, bailed him out, trying showing him how being a better person can help, u know what it didnt work when we were together . i dont know why i still do it now. like trying to teach him to be a father, im learning its a waste of time u know............ i dont need that im learning that........ but u know what my problem is now would i be wrong to keep him from him, im not trying to do this in a mean way but heck he dont seem that much anyway, or have in part in his life that much......... i dont want him to hurt our kid but then i dont want him to tell my son one day that mommy is one that kept me from u .... to me the more im thinking about that would be a better excuze for him to use against me in the long run , but right now i dont trust him with our kid, i tell him supervised vistation only..............what u think storm girl or others :D
No I wouldn't advise trying to keep him from your son. Although it makes things more difficult for you, it's not fair to do that to your son... and you're right, your son may grow up and resent you if he finds out it was you who kept him away (he may not understand your reasons). Let your ex be the father that he wants to be. Don't stop him, but you certainly can't force him to be a good father either. It's something that he has to figure out himself. You've got enough on your plate, and you have seen that trying to make the ex into a good and responsible person has not worked. He will wake up and realise this himself one day, but it could be many, many years from now. Supervised visitation is good. It lets him know that you are being responsible to let him have contact with his son, but that you don't think he is mature enough to be trusted alone. I think that you should make up a schedule or roster and get into some routine (if you haven't already). And keep it all strictly about your son. That way he can see that you are doing your best to be responsible, and are preparing to move on. This also restricts your contact and will help you to move on and deal with your anger issues. You will always have to accept that this guy is not going to be the partner/father that you would like... but that's his loss. You can't change that. But don't let him pull you down with him. Just try to do your best to make a happy life for yourself and your son, with him being involved only for the sake of your son. You don't have to be nasty or hostile with him, just calmly tell him that his behaviour is childish, immature and irresponsible, and you'd just rather not deal with him (unless it is regards to your son) until he has grown up a little and is prepared to take some responsibility - because you don't need that kind of stress in your life.

I sometimes wonder how some people can want to live their own lives with no maturity, no self respect, no idea, and never wanting to be a better person? It baffles me... I'd hate myself if I was the type of person he was, especially now that I have a child and need to be a good role model.
see ive done the roster thing prepared along time ago . u know what he told me he could everytime and made excuse . so i have just let him make his own roster u know when does seem to ask to see i= him i do make a way. but i dont trust him since the accident he had with my son drinking and driving. so therefor i then one that has to supervisor which puts a strain on me ...... with the contact u know
Yep, I understand how you must feel. He sure isn't making it easy for you is he? I'm not sure which country you are from, but is there some way that you can legally set a routine, that he has to follow? Perhaps you need to take a more legal and professional avenue to make sure he knows where the boundaries are and what he can and can't get away with. That may take some pressure off you too.

Do you mind if I ask if he has a new girlfriend? I would pity the poor thing, but I'm just curious. And did you say that you have a new boyfriend?
[QUOTE=StormGirl]Yep, I understand how you must feel. He sure isn't making it easy for you is he? I'm not sure which country you are from, but is there some way that you can legally set a routine, that he has to follow? Perhaps you need to take a more legal and professional avenue to make sure he knows where the boundaries are and what he can and can't get away with. That may take some pressure off you too.

Do you mind if I ask if he has a new girlfriend? I would pity the poor thing, but I'm just curious. And did you say that you have a new boyfriend?[/QUOTE]

no he doesnt have a girlfirend. he says he is not ready, becuase he actually doing what i cant do which is take time to move on for myself, and know i dont have a boyfriend but yes a companion ( guy) actually im from alabama and he is the one that is from another country ( mexico). beleive if i had the money which i have to take baby steps, first by jan i will get and pay for a paternity test then i found a lawyer that says that if he will agree as in telling the truth about his work that he could do it for 850. get child support order , lawyer also told that there is no need to fight for custody or vistation right when he has known in the first place...... u know
Ok, the original post to this thread has been bothering me ever since I read it. The fact that you punched him in the nose makes me think that there may be a chance that you would do this to your son one day when you get angry with him for not doing what you want him to do. I know that you don't think that you could do such a thing right now, and you are probably right, but just to be on the safe side, I would seek professional help if I were you. I am seeking professional help right now for similar reasons and it has helped me so I do encourage you to seek help.

I have an almost 4 year old. Even though I vowed that I would never spank my daughter.....I eventually did.......more than once. (Spanking on the bottom is what I am talking about, both my husband and I decided after reading a lot about it that it was not something that we subscribed to though I know that other parents feel differently.) I fear that when your son is about 2 and a half, if you don't get this anger situation under control, then he will feel the brunt of your frustrations. I'm not saying that you would do this, just that it is better to be safe and seek help if possible, just in case. Dealing with a toddler and a preschooler can be extrememly frustrating and you would benefit from learning some tools to deal with your anger without lashing out. That is part of what I am doing in therapy because I tend to yell and scream at my daughter when she isn't doing what I want her to do. I feel so badly afterwards.

Another thing that I was thinking is that if it were a man who had written your post, everyone would be all over you, telling you off for hitting a woman in the face and taking about how you should have been arrested.
trystme :wave: thanks for the response. u know what i am seriously thinking about that i have noticed that i do have an anger issue that has arouse since this man left. even though ur right i would never hurt my child, i am going to seek counseling for anger management. my biggiest fear was i am a first time mom and i am scared that they are going to think i am a bad mom and take my kid away ..... u know i dont know what to do ....
I see what you mean. That is a mother's worse fear. I can only tell you from my own experiences with Family and Chidren's Services, child psycologists, etc. They very rarely ever take chidren away. I have been a teacher for 13 years, I have dealt with DFACS where it involves my niece and my nephew, and at least here in GA, DFACS is pretty inept. The psycologist who tested my 14 year old nephew for drugs and found methamphetamine didn't even calle DFACS. The therapist that I am seeing keeps assuring me "what is said here, stays here." I really don't think that you have anything to worry about, but as a mother, I totally understand your fear. I can only ask you to try to see beyond that fear, for the wellbeing of your son.
Dear Miamore, I wish you and your son a happy holiday season. You probably have not read any of my posts...but when you asked if there was anyone else out there like you...well yes, a lot of us.

I have posted here before about the anger I had towards my ex boyfriend and it only came out when I drank. And why did I drink? His constant abuse and rejection of me lead me to have no self esteem left and sometimes ( only 3 occasions I would get drunk and stand up to him). Funny thing was...it gave him yet one more weapon to use against me because when he made the final break with me, I was to blame because of my drinking...according to him anyway and I still cry and I still search my soul and I still feel ashamed of behaving the way I did towards him.

But...never once did he apolgize for the nasty, diabolical things he said to me. He constantly cut me up, critisized everything about me from my clothing to my wearing of lipstick, my hair/nails, my taste in music and the list goes on. And me being the overachiever that I am...kept saying '' sorry'' and trying harder to please him. But nothing made him happy with me - and I fell further into his trap because when I got drunk and brave, he said '' see you have a problem and you need help''.

I think the utter rejection, him leaving me, cutting me off....our last conversation was November 21st...he told me he loved me and missed me and 24 hours later he was screaming at me on the phone because I asked him if he met another girl. He said '' you are my ex, it is none of your f------ business if I met any girl...you have no right asking me that!!!'' CONTROL...He could not tell me the truth ( I know he met someone ) and although he kept calling me when I confronted him, he had to turn it around and yell and scream at me. And what did I do??? I looked like the bad one again and cried and told him I hated him and to stay away from me forever. And of course he has because he has a new girl to abuse now.

I miss him...and I do have a problem. I am a co-dependant. I went for my first therapy session last week and I am going again on Thursday and I will keep going so that I will feel better about me. If you seek help, it does not mean you are a psycho ( my exes favorite word about me to his pals ). It means you want to get strong, and find out why you love a jerk who abuses you mentally and will cause you and your son grief in life.

He is the one with the problem, and I believe every action causes a re-action. Don;t beat yourself up over loving him or missing him...it is natural to do so...you gave birth to his child. Love yourself and your son, and not now, maybe not next week or even next month, but one day, you will realize ( as I will ) that we are far better off alone or in a world with people who love us and care for us...not men who reject us and cause us to act out our feelings of abandonment when they leave. Stay well and all the best. let me know how you and the baby are - K-
hate one thing that i am learning , is that i truley need to love myself first, before i can love anyone else and at the moment that is the hardiest. i try to stay away from him , but no matter how hard i try i cant seem to be able to . if it aint him, me or trying to contact me for the baby its so hard and when u have that kind of love 4 someone even thought its a love hate relationship sometimes is so hard . because it makes it harder to get on with ur life, but so far regardless of the baby, for the last 3 days ive ignored is phone calls, cuz ive noticed that ive started to sink in to depresssion real bad and im trying to stay strong for my son. u know. :wave:
Believe me I know it is hard...it's worse than quitting drugs or drinking. It's been 38 days since I spoke to my ex....and I sent him a Christmas e mail in a moment of weakness ( he never responded and it is killing me more). I know how hard it is....and I am trying to understand why I love my abuser so much...but hey I have made the one month with no physical or phone contacts. I dream of him everynight, I cry for him too and I keep reminding myself how much he made me cry....how sad I was. Leopards do not change their spots. Stay strong, do this for your boy!!! And in time, if things are meant to be, then hopefully you can both go to group counselling , but right now, you need to get YOU back.
[QUOTE=lifechange]Strange becuse mom knows best....my thereapist told me the same thing...No men for 6 months. Heal and love me and do not give thought to dating. And as for my ex, he is on my mind 24-7. I wonder how he can just be happy and move on without me after telling me I was his soulmate and he wanted to marry me. BUT...I sincerely think that the day I asked him outright '' did you meet someone else and if you did then I will not play this game anymore''....I stopeed it, just like the move 9 and a half weeks. Someone has to end it and it hurts like hell. But we will survive and get through this. Stay strong, and love your boy, your family, friends and you.[/QUOTE]
even when i wrote that statement that u replied to i feel weak, prob because i have brought it to my own selfs attention that i am giving up, as we speak i wanted to pick up the phone my grandmother says that we are addict to one another i cant help it sometimes i love him still and i realize that but i know he is not good for me, i think it when u cant have it anymore u want even more u know........ holding on to not calling him
Hi miamore... I'm here!!! :) I know that this is hard for you miamore. I go through the same thing everyday. I get weak, call and then get disappointed in myself, as well as hurt and feeling like a fool. Sometimes I just don't learn. I think that your idea for a "goal" is brilliant. Something to work towards, and be proud of when you accomplish it. And it will show you that you are in control of your life and will build your confidence. I am proud of you for having avoided his calls for even a few days. It really shows some progress, and your willingness to help yourself. The great thing about you is that you are willing to listen to the advice of others who have been there. You take it on board and really try with it, which is pleasing to see. It will get easier for you, trust me. Start with small steps, cut back on anything to do with him gradually, and the more you succeed, the better you will feel. You know that you will always have some sort of contact with him, but if you eliminate as much unnecessary contact as possible, it's a start. And keep remembering, that you do not need someone like him in your life, someone who walked out on his partner, his child, and his responsibilities. He left you to cope on your own. Did he even think of the consequences to you or the child? Probably not, he's too wrapped up in his own world. I think you will find that as you cut back on communication with him, your anger will probably start to fade too. You will accept that he is a jerk, and that you can't change it, and will resign yourself to coping with it somehow. But if you feel that this anger does not subside, please do speak to a professional about it.

Miamore, you're doing great. Keep being strong. There will be bad days when you feel very depressed, but know that they will pass and soon, the good days will stay longer and longer and the bad will start to get fewer and fewer. Look at your baby and think how can you be sad with such a beautiful life having been created. Concentrate on yourself and your baby. I have noticed that you have other health problems too, so please look after yourself. Worrying about the ex is not going to help your health problems. He is what he is, and no amount of worrying will change that. Surround yourself with the people that do care about you, they will make you feel better. Seeing that you can't rely on him, it's up to you to change your life around. Make it a happy one, not a sad one. Sometimes it may seem like all the bad things happen to you, but it's time to say ENOUGH... and start making the good things happen!!! :angel:
listen to this storm girl , rem the guy that i told u about that was not so good to me ( u rem what i said happened). well he gave me this guilt trip about why do i not want to give him another chance........ i was like really think about that for a sec, not only when u did what u did, i lost respect 4 u and ive tried loving u but i cant love u way i should love you and thats not fair. well he bought me furniture for christmas and he was like what the heck i thought i bought this for u so that we could be together one day....... i said let me tell u something, they say that a person is only used be cuz they allow themselves to be used. if u want to take it back fine ... i dont want nothing from u i told him........ i was strong and proud of myself. i stood up for myself and stood firm and let him know that i have to get over my babys father first and concetrate on loving my self and being there for my son. and for the next six months i dont want to date anyone, i dont want to argue , tell someone where i am going, i just want to be free and show myself that i can be alone and do it u know....... he started crying i told him u know what if u cant respect my dec... then we were never meant to be...... u know.............he kept going on i was like shut the heck up i told u already im not going to change my mind ive not been alone since i was 15 and now i am 24. and i told him he was the one that made me be mean cuz that seemed like that was the only way he would understand........... i said look i already have a man in my life and in my heart and he may be lil meaning my son but i need him and only him right now and he comes first , me second and when the time comes for someone else them third........... i have no room in my heart right now for another lil man( another child) ........ ( lol) im proud of myself others and storm arent you yipppppppppppppppp eeeeeeeeee :D :cool: :bouncing:
I am sooooo proud miamore. That's fantastic the way you are actively trying to turn your life around. But let me warn you, you may feel a little down about this a bit later - especially if you get a little lonely. Just remember why you felt you had to do this, and you will be fine. I think that it's a good idea for you to eliminate as much stress as you can from your life, so you can grab a hold of things slowly... and it will help you to figure out what it is that you do want from life, and what sort of partner you want. After all, you've had your baby and since then it's been very stressful for you. It's time to start again and build the kind of life that you want, and the person YOU want to be. Hehe, I'm 26 now and I haven't been on my own since I was 15 either. Although it's a little scary right now, it's also refreshing not to have anyone to answer to, or to make us feel bad, right?

Good on you girl. I really am very proud. You've come so far in such a small amount of time. Now try to relax and enjoy life a little, without all the stress that makes you mad/sad/angry. Throw yourself into your business, and build the life that you always wanted for yourself and your little guy. Then when you least expect it, that special someone will come along and sweep you off your feet. They will respect you for having turned your life around, and not letting it get the better of you when a lesser person would have. And in this time, figure out the behaviour that you will and won't put up with from a guy. Raise the bar a bit and don't settle for anything less. You and your little man deserve all the very best in life.
[QUOTE=miamore]its so true :jester: he is like a kid even when we were together. i always took care of him, bailed him out, trying showing him how being a better person can help, u know what it didnt work when we were together . i dont know why i still do it now. like trying to teach him to be a father, im learning its a waste of time u know............ i dont need that im learning that........ but u know what my problem is now would i be wrong to keep him from him, im not trying to do this in a mean way but heck he dont seem that much anyway, or have in part in his life that much......... i dont want him to hurt our kid but then i dont want him to tell my son one day that mommy is one that kept me from u .... to me the more im thinking about that would be a better excuze for him to use against me in the long run , but right now i dont trust him with our kid, i tell him supervised vistation only..............what u think storm girl or others :D[/QUOTE]


Hi Mia,

What a lot of grief you have been through and who knows what the future holds for you or your son.

I know you are not going to like what i have to say.
If you are honest with yourself and want to do the best for your son,
you must get financial and helpful support.
Your son's sperm donor is not a father and you must ask him to either act like one or sign away his parental rights forever.
If he refuses, he will have to pay to help raise the boy. He may be out of work on purpose to avoid paying, so you must ask for sole custody and then look into having him adopted into a stable two parent family who is ready to
do what you are finding so hard to do. He will be so much happier.

Your emotional problems are not going to make your life or your son's life easy.
How will he like you bringing one prospective guy after another to meet him and then find out that the guy isn't coming back because you had a fight or a
diasagreement. Your mind needs to be helped with the right meds or one day, you might just loose it and hurt your son.
(Remember that woman who drowned her three children in her car a few years ago?)

I know you love your son and think you can do this, but you must ask yourself
if you would like to be in his shoes without a father and with a mother who is
either crying or too depressed to take him out for a hamburger or a pair of shoes.
You need to find a special MAN to be your husband and your son's father.
Do you trust yourself to be able to find such a man?
If you find the wrong man, you could end up with another child and a guy who also runs away. You would be better off without a man if you choose the wrong one again.

Whatever you do, you must think of your son's welfare before yours.

Now, "go do the right thing".
:wave: ron :rolleyes: let me ask u a question have you read all of the post and the progress that i have made. u know what ur exactly right i dont agree or appreciate u comparing me to a women that drowned her 3 kids. or asking me to take the rights away from his father and giving my son away now that is 10 months old to a more stable family...................................


where do u get all that from explain to me cuz i sure as heck dont know :nono:

and u know what u never take a kid away from there parents unless they have been mistreated, i give my son love, give my son attention give him everything he needs and more my son does not suffer cuz when im doing my suffering is when he is asleep ......

i dont need finacial help i have my own business that makes good money and allows for me to stay at home with my son...........and how can u determine that i am unstable from reading one thread......................please reply back very interested in your response and to what others may think of it to :wave:
[QUOTE=miamore]:wave: ron :rolleyes: let me ask u a question have you read all of the post and the progress that i have made. u know what ur exactly right i dont agree or appreciate u comparing me to a women that drowned her 3 kids. or asking me to take the rights away from his father and giving my son away now that is 10 months old to a more stable family...................................


where do u get all that from explain to me cuz i sure as heck dont know :nono:

and u know what u never take a kid away from there parents unless they have been mistreated, i give my son love, give my son attention give him everything he needs and more my son does not suffer cuz when im doing my suffering is when he is asleep ......

i dont need finacial help i have my own business that makes good money and allows for me to stay at home with my son...........and how can u determine that i am unstable from reading one thread......................please reply back very interested in your response and to what others may think of it to :wave:[/QUOTE]


Hi Mia,

Congratulations on your financial success. Could you explain if this is an internet business that depends on your being there?
(With so little explanation, what else am i to think)

Will your son be understanding about it when he is older?

Where I get my opinion from is obvious by the tone of my post, (especially the last line.) Someone else will notice and let you know, I am sure.

If you really don't want to deal with your issues, or deny that you have any,
why are you asking for comments?
You don't have to do anything that anyone else says, so what are you
searching for?

Ron
HI Mia, you can talk to me if you would like, I went through the exact same thing, with my babys father and with my own parents. I also went through alot of what you did as far as rage and hatred towards him. Yes he is contributing to your behavior, but there is something else triggering it in the first place. If you would like, respond to my post and I will give you my email address...I have been there, done that. Its very very hard to take care of anyone, including yourself, when you find yourself in this kind of situation. Take care and God Bless*



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