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Anger Management Message Board


Anger Management Board Index


Thank you again for discussing my problem. Last night on the way to work, I started thinking of what she really did, and I got very depressed and very angry. To me, what she did, is just a step above rape or murder.(morally) I know what hate is now, and i don't want it in my life, it is a terrible emotion.I have never hated anyone before, and I don't want to hate her, how do I get rid of this emotion? I hope my anger can be used in a healthy manner, but I don't know if I'll ever get over this emotionally, I have never been so hurt in my whole life. I have nobody now except my 2 small children who need me and an unsupporting husband. I feel like my sister took my whole life with my mom and threw every momento in a box, she threw my whole life and relationship with mom in a box. Now I see why she said she would "close the door on me forever" after we sold Moms house, of course, because she knew what she did, what she planned and that it would be the most hurtful thing to me and I would never want to speak to her again, so she turned it around.

I have been asking for 35 years why she has hated me. I never got an answer, I know I never will. That is hard enough to live with. Its unbelievable the chaos that has gone on for the past 3 years until my Moms death, her vile lies, her manipulations, I didn't even eat last summer because of what was going on, I just kept praying, and I couldn't take care of myself, I literally was on the floor from depression.I fed everyone but myself!! I have never been this way ever!!! I am strong, happy go lucky, bubbly, easy to talk to, honest and a real person. I have many friends who care, but how long are they going to listen to me about this, and do they truly understand this pain??

If Mom was here in her right mind she would be devastated. I was the baby of the family, my sister 9 yrs older, and Mom lost 2 stillborns between us, so I was really wanted, I was spoiled, and I was always the needy one, asking Mom for advice etc. I think this is maybe where her hatred stems from. But she is the one who moved away from our family, she doesn't even know me as a person and hates me?? I have never done anything to her,she has been lying about me for years, I have been an upstanding citizen, worked at the same job for 15 years, making more money than her, (maybe thats part of it),I don't drink or do drugs, I'm a good mother. When mom got sick, I resigned, and now I'm a flight attendant and a bartender. I've always been able to get back on my feet, just don't know about it this time, emotionally. She even went around saying I got fired when I left my last job, which was another lie. She told my Mom that i used her credit card, another lie. How can somone live with themselves after doing this to your only sibling? I could never look myself in the mirror each day, I would hate myself for hating my own sister and for pulling this.

Well, today my husband is bringing my 93 yr old Nana her x-mas presents. I haven't wanted to see her because I feel like she should stick up to my sister, get her money, and split it the way she wants to. I feel disowned. My nana doesn't have that long left on this earth, I feel very bad of my feelings about her, but the anger takes over, I believe she should of made my sister do the right thing.So now, everything my sister planned has happened. She wrote me out of Moms will, she took everything and left me my Moms clothes. She alienated me and my mom, now she did the same thing to my nana and me. This is just what she wanted. She took my whole life and trashed it.She even attached a letter to moms will. It started with "I don't have to tell you how much mom loved you and your kids, but that had nothing to do with how she wanted her will". That is another lie. She left me my Moms rosary beads which I gave her and said "maybe I can get some comfort from the beads since that was one of Moms prize possessions."

I do want to emphasize that with all the bad memories of the last 3 years, I do have wonderful memories of my Mom when she was healthy, and our love for each other. She was the best Mom and grandmother, she loved me and my kids so much she would worry about us constantly. Maybe thats another reason, or maybe I should stop trying to figure out WHY?

I also can't fathom how her husband got involved with her greediness and hatefulness. He was always a nice guy, but a true redneck and not that intelligent. She manipulated him too I guess. This is actually her third marriage, she stole him from her friend across the street, yes, a neighbor. He was always family orientated, he has 2 kids himself, one that my sister forbid in the house for 15 years. He still went along with this?? Don't these people know the difference between right and wrong, and how can they manipulate elderly, sick family members (their own Mother?), and take this action against a family member? Don't they feel guilty?? His mother died a few years back, and he said that my Mom was his Mom now. Give me a break.

I'm sorry for venting, I just don't see how these people can live with themselves. Thank you for listening starr





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