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Anger Management Message Board

Anger Management Board Index

Re: Angry Dad
Aug 19, 2003

Those are some good suggestions. I do not condemn my Dad. I do see him as a child of God and imperfect person. I do have compassion for him, I have prayed for him and I've wanted to work on his issues and anger problems. And I still want to do so. But he is in such denial and it so rigid. He has exclaimed many times and shown in behavior that his beliefs and methods and attitudes will never ever change. I think a lot of his attitude, beliefs, and methods are so abusive, dysfunctional, and irrational. I understand he probably had a miserable childhood, and other problems but he refuses to want to discuss it in a calm fashion. He chooses to shout at me telling me "When I grew up it was worse I lived in a horrible neighborhood were there was violence, you have everything you want you have no reason at all to have anger or sadness". He has said those same words to me since I was 5 years old on up until recently. He refuses to get to the real issues he refuses to get help for whatever was so "HORRIBLE" about his neighborhood.

As a growing 20 year old man ( I am no psychologist) I cannot HELP him with his deep issues especially since he does want to change or look into it and he only wants to shame and bring others down. In a strong way he is bringing up all these issues into my life and into his present life, and making it obvious that he is a deeply troubled person yet he turns his back as soon as I or anybody wants to work with him, he lashes out, blames, and prepares for attack. I feel as if he is an anchor on me and wants to drag me to the bottom of the sea so that I can drown in chaos and misery with him. And since I moved out and sought therapy I have not often let that anchor get the best of me. I have chosen a life of christianity and of goodness, joy and acceptance and of change and progression. I really do want to see him get better and I want him to improve and be happy and let his real personality to come out. BUT he will not change unless God and Jesus or something knocks him in the soul and gives him a powerful message that he needs to work on his self issues now and forever.

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