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Anger Management Message Board


Anger Management Board Index


Hi,
I'm new to this board but I had a pretty bad situation tonight that resulted in an intense emotion of anger that came upon me. First off, I have a 2 and a half year old that is hard to control. I took her out to eat with us(my husband) 2 nights in a row and each night she was a basket case. She would NOT sit down no matter how hard I tried. She was crying since I wouldn't allow her out of her seat, screaming, etc. I try so hard to discipline and I tried being calm, but it was SOOOO hard. I know that I'm not supposed to yell, but she wouldn't listen and I did yell. I got to the point where I ust couldn't take it anymore, walked outside, and sat in one of the chairs and just started crying. How do I deal with an out of control child when I feel angry? I really felt like hitting her, and this is my honest feeling...I didn't, but she has been driving me nuts. What do I do about discipline and anger. I definitely will not take her out until I have a resolution to this. Like in the supermarket, she wants EVERYTHING she sees and if she don't get it, she FLIPS out and just acts up. I think she has anger problems and it's causing me to get angry. Thank you!
Hi! I assure you, the chances of your 2 yr old having an anger problem are slim. Did you go out to eat late? We had a similiar problem 2 nights ago when my husband took us out to eat. I have been sick, and I can't go out much, but he wanted to get me out and spend some time. Long story short, my little guy didn't want to eat, threw a string of spaghetti at me, fell off the chair and hit his head, and basically attracted lots of attention. BUT, we took him out to eat when it was already past his bedtime, we went to a restuarant wih alot of people and alot of noise, and we failed to bring any of his favorite toys to entertain himself with. So really, we did it to ourselves.

I try to never disipline when I am angry but it is important to act immediately so, I impose an immediate time out for mommy and child. You may disagree right now, but it axtually works! Maybe in a week or two, you will get less angry with her. You will be able to close your eyes and say 1, 2, 3 and deal with the problem calmly. The purpose of taking the time out with her right now is to give you the time to A) cool off B) remember she is only a child 3)decide wether the offense is really worth disipline. In my experience, when dealing with a 2 yr old, you pick your battles or everything will be a battle. Best of all, when you are in ppublic and she acts this way, you have a few options. I am sure you have heard the first one. [COLOR=Red]*Just leave the store. No Words. No Explanation. Leave and go home. And be very quiet about it. It seems this does actually get thier attention.[/COLOR][COLOR=Orange]OR-Continue your shopping, completely ignoring the tantrum. I know how hard this is, but if she doesn'nt get the attention, she will stop. This may take a minute to work. She is going to continue thinking eventually you will give in. DON'T![/COLOR][COLOR=RoyalBlue]Finally-Get a babysitter. When you are leaving and she says she wants to go or has a fit, calmly remind her that last time she was very loud and did not behave. Tell her this time she has to stay home and you can come with again next time. Give her a kiss and go. [/COLOR] These options may seem harsh but they aren't. Also, I read a book by Kevin Leman - How to make your children mind, without losing yours. Great book. Not everything is applicable, but it might help. One of the keys to dealing with a toddler is staying calm. If you get angry and upset, things will escalate. If you stay calm and re-enforce that the bad behaivor is going to get her what she wants, she will get the message. Good luck, and you can always contact me or post again. It is so hard having a 2 yr old. As for your anger, it sounds to me like it is more frustration than anything else. Crying sometimes helps :0). Don't forget to make some time for yourself. My son goes to sleep by 9pm every night. From 9pm until 11pm I am unavailable to anyone. The phone, the dh, everything. I do something I enjoy (usually this :0)). Oh yes, and you may try posting on the parenting board. :0)
[QUOTE=bella214]Hi! I assure you, the chances of your 2 yr old having an anger problem are slim. Did you go out to eat late? We had a similiar problem 2 nights ago when my husband took us out to eat. I have been sick, and I can't go out much, but he wanted to get me out and spend some time. Long story short, my little guy didn't want to eat, threw a string of spaghetti at me, fell off the chair and hit his head, and basically attracted lots of attention. BUT, we took him out to eat when it was already past his bedtime, we went to a restuarant wih alot of people and alot of noise, and we failed to bring any of his favorite toys to entertain himself with. So really, we did it to ourselves.

I try to never disipline when I am angry but it is important to act immediately so, I impose an immediate time out for mommy and child. You may disagree right now, but it axtually works! Maybe in a week or two, you will get less angry with her. You will be able to close your eyes and say 1, 2, 3 and deal with the problem calmly. The purpose of taking the time out with her right now is to give you the time to A) cool off B) remember she is only a child 3)decide wether the offense is really worth disipline. In my experience, when dealing with a 2 yr old, you pick your battles or everything will be a battle. Best of all, when you are in ppublic and she acts this way, you have a few options. I am sure you have heard the first one. [COLOR=Red]*Just leave the store. No Words. No Explanation. Leave and go home. And be very quiet about it. It seems this does actually get thier attention.[/COLOR][COLOR=Orange]OR-Continue your shopping, completely ignoring the tantrum. I know how hard this is, but if she doesn'nt get the attention, she will stop. This may take a minute to work. She is going to continue thinking eventually you will give in. DON'T![/COLOR][COLOR=RoyalBlue]Finally-Get a babysitter. When you are leaving and she says she wants to go or has a fit, calmly remind her that last time she was very loud and did not behave. Tell her this time she has to stay home and you can come with again next time. Give her a kiss and go. [/COLOR] These options may seem harsh but they aren't. Also, I read a book by Kevin Leman - How to make your children mind, without losing yours. Great book. Not everything is applicable, but it might help. One of the keys to dealing with a toddler is staying calm. If you get angry and upset, things will escalate. If you stay calm and re-enforce that the bad behaivor is going to get her what she wants, she will get the message. Good luck, and you can always contact me or post again. It is so hard having a 2 yr old. As for your anger, it sounds to me like it is more frustration than anything else. Crying sometimes helps :0). Don't forget to make some time for yourself. My son goes to sleep by 9pm every night. From 9pm until 11pm I am unavailable to anyone. The phone, the dh, everything. I do something I enjoy (usually this :0)). Oh yes, and you may try posting on the parenting board. :0)[/QUOTE]
Hi,
Thanks for the long and helpful response. It's comforting to know that she isn't the ONLY child that does this, she's a CHILD and most children act this way. I KNEW that but you forget sometimes because I get so mad that she won't listen to me. I think I wll get a babysitter for times when I go shopping, and I wont take her out to eat anymore because she cries most of the time anyway since she wants to run around. I'll take her when she is older. I'll take her to places like the child's museum, amusment parks, swimming, any kind of active places, lol! I'm going to look into that book and I did post on that "parenting board." THanks soooo much!!





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