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Anger Management Message Board

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Well, it's not so long ago that I was 14. Although I never had any real problems, perhaps I can relate a little bit.

How do people treat you at school? Are you popular/unpopular? Do you have a lot of friends? The reason I ask this is because people at that age are absolute ****. They treat each other terribly. They are very rude and insulting, and if you happen to be their scapegoat they will go after you like no one's business. Also, kliqs are very bad in HS and it makes things even worse, because someone who is totally nice and timid alone can be a total ******* when others are egging him on.

It's a very artificial environment that you encounter in school. You are forced to interact with a lot of people that you would never deal with otherwise and in an environment where respect is often completely forgotten. Out in the real world, when you go to a store or whatever, people will tend to treat you with a certain degree of respect. And if they don't, you can keep on going down the road and never see them again. In school you are forced to deal with the same jerks, day in and day out, with no reprieve. It's almost like being in prison, in fact my local HS looks a lot like a prison too, lol (actually it's not really funny, more like sad).

Anyway, the reason I mention all that is it because it sounds like you are feeling sort of hostile toward everyone else, and maybe that's because people are picking on you, insulting you, or otherwise not treating you well. The thing you need to realize about your peers is their opinion just doesn't matter. They can think you are a loser/total crap/whatever they want, it doesn't have any impact on who you really are. Once you graduate from HS, you'll never see most of those jerks again, so the best way to deal with them is just to ignore them. Don't even waste your energy being angry at them, that's just giving them more of your time than they deserve.

Just realize that you don't have to live up to anyone's expectations but your own. The most empowering thing you can ever experience is realizing that what other people think of you doesn't matter. Once you realize that, they have no power over you anymore.

Figure out what you enjoy to do and what your goals are in life and shoot for those. Live your life for what you want to do, don't worry about what others say you should do, or what other people think about it. Your opinion is just as valid as anyone else's, even if you're in the minority (a lot of people can think the same thing, and they can all be wrong).

You have your whole life ahead of you, make the most of it. Whatever is bothering you now, keep it in perspective. Try to find things to be happy about and to look forward to. If you can't find it in the real world, look for it in books or games or whatever (not in drugs or alcohol, that stuff is just crap and causes more damage than good).

Anyway, maybe I'm off on the wrong track, but thinking back to when I was 14, this is the sort of stuff that might have helped me. If you can figure out what's making you angry and can elaborate more about it, then maybe some of us can relate. Also, for what it's worth, I have a friend who was depressed and stuff in HS. He didn't really care about anything and got bad grades, etc. He was never violent or mean, but it was just a different way of reacting to anger/depression. Well, guess what, he turned out to be just fine, so don't lose hope. I'm sure that everything will work out for you too.

PS: I'd also be skeptical that you need counseling. The friend I mentioned above went to counseling and he thought it was a total joke. A therapist will either try to talk to you, or try to medicate you. It can help to talk about your problems, but it doesn't have to be someone who you're paying money to listen. If you have a friend or family member you can trust, they can probably help. Otherwise you can probably find people to listen to you online. As far as meds go, there are certainly people out there who are helped by medication. Unfortunately, it seems like medication now adays is basically prescribed to everyone, whether they need it or not. My friend was also put on prosac, but he never took any of it, he just threw it away. ;)

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