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Anger Management Message Board


Anger Management Board Index


Hi! I'm new to this board. But, I wanted to get some input from other people. I'm 18 years old and I've thought that I've had anger issues/anxiety problems for a long time now. Recently, I've figured out that it's me and not other people. When I first started noticing this I wasn't sure if there was something wrong with me or if it was just specific people. So I wanted to share some of my stories and get opinions on what I should do.

I'm very easily angered. Anything can set me off. My boyfriend is the number one person I argue with since we're around each other so much. He can make a comment and it just rubs me the wrong way and I'll freak out. I'm so tired of getting angry about everything. But, I just can't seem to help it.

When I get angry, I blow up. When someone angers me I will let them know, and I feel like I'm blowing everything out of proportion, but I just can't help myself. It like, I know I'm going to blow up but I feel like if I don't get it out I'm going to end up exploding and it will be 10x worse.

I've been asking myself these past couple of days if maybe I should be on some sort of medication. My boyfriend and I are moving in together in a few months and I really want to get this under control, because I feel like if I don't it's only going to get worse.

Is anyone here on medication. If so, what kind. I've been talking with my parents and they think getting on Prozac or Paxil isn't a good idea. They think it's too early in my life to be messing with that type of medication. So, I was just wondering, if you are on medication, what are you on? And, how has it worked for you.

Thanks,
Jocelyn
Both of you I would strongly advise to not go on medication at this point.

Effective counselling is most likely what will help you, a hundred times more than any chemical substance can.

Unless you have an actual, genuine mental disorder or imbalance, meds will only mask the problems...which stem from your ineffective ability to deal with stress/anger/fear/sadness/feelings of being out of control in your life/insecurity/self-hatred/guilt, etc...all of which = pain. So you lash out in a destructive way at others and by doing so, also at yourself. Because you know that when you behave like this, you hurt yourself by hurting others.

Medication will help this. It'll dull you, that's why. But do you want that?

You're aware that even though these days the meds aren't so addictive or anything, once you begin using them, you may as well just keep using them forever because unless you get counselling and work out WHY you can't handle your feelings and express yourself in this dysfunctional way, if you ever went off them, your problems would still be there, the same as always...this is unless you grow out of them in the meantime, whilst on the medication. I don't know how old you are...but I'll say that you most likely wouldn't really be doing a lot of soul searching/growing etc if taking these meds.

You need to work out why you feel like this, and secondly, why you behave this way. A lot of people feel bad, overwhelmingly bad in fact, the same as you...but they don't channel it this way like you do.

I speak from experience. I have these outbursts too, and was offered valium, prozac, etc 10 years ago when I was 18 by a druggie friend, but knew that no meds would help me so I threw them away. Only finding out why I behave this way will, and I'm improving all the time.
I would strongly advise you not go on medication, but to do some soul searching and looking at your behavior that you do not like or finds leads you towards negative consequences and make some plans for positive alternative responses, and other things that you can do to change. There are certain real and actual brain problems that may require some medication as treatment, more research, and finding a real cure for like epilepsy, tumors, chemical abuse, and accidental brain damage. Simple normal feelings and reactions no matter how negative they may appear do not require medication, they require soul searching and change.

I would advise you to do some thing that would be relaxing like taking a long tub soak, go swimming, or do some reading every once in a while or even tiring like jogging, skating, dancing, or cleaning up a park or street to help out with the environment. As long as it is some thing that you enjoy. You may also want to choose different and more positive people or those that you get along with better to be in your life, or take some quite and alone time for yourself every once in a while, not all the time though. Learning how to see and walk away from bad situations may also be helpful, giving yourself some time out.

Medication will only mask the real problems which stem from a learned way of ineffectivly dealing with stress, anger, fear, sadness, feelings of being out of control in your life, insecurity, self-hatred, guilt, etc. all of which may equal some amounts of emotional pain. It has been proven that there is no actual scientifically valid and reliable evidence to show a mental disorder or chemical imbalance, so drug use doesn't actually help. All it does is numb you to keep you from having to feel these normal feelings. But do you want that?

These medications have been proven to be addictive, and once you begin using them, you may as well just keep using them because unless you figure out WHY you can't handle your feelings and express your behavior the way you do, if you ever go off them, your problems will still be there, the same as always. The FDA has placed a black box warning on these medications indicating that in fact they can increase some of your unwanted behaviors and intensify them to the point of being suicidal. If you do not take these kinds of medications you may naturally grow out of these problems and get on with your life now that you are aware of them and are willing to work on changing your behavior. Life is an ever changing balance of ups and downs, good and bad things and so learning to understand that no one promised us a rose garden or a bed of roses all the time is a good thing, it helps to increase our resiliancy and ability to deal with the hard things in life.

You need to figure out why you feel like this, and why you behave in certain ways at any given time and work hard to be aware of and change those behaviors. When you feel these negative emotions coming on count to ten and do or say the opposite thing or practice it in a mirror. A lot of people feel bad, overwhelmingly bad in fact, the same as you, but they don't seek this medication and once they are aware of it then they change what is wrong so things are better in their lives.

I have been offered valium, klonopin, methadone, and other drugs in the past and sad to say have taken some many years ago, but using this stuff didn't change anything it only made my life worse until I got clean and sober, not because it was not prescribed for me, but because it stopped me from thinking about my real problems and behaviors that needed changing or having to deal with them. Only finding out why I felt and behaved the way I did and was making myself miserable helped me to be able to start changing and making things better for myself, and I'm becoming more aware of myself every day one day at a time so that my life improves more and more all the time. This helps to make my life better, and makes things better for the others that are around me as well.





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