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Does anyone have any methods of coping or preventing these violent surges of anger that we speak of frequently here?

I am the same as many others...I feel vaguely irritated and tense for a while, not sure why but I feel dettached and cold and distant with my partner who I usually feel extemely close and affection with...then something will happen (which is really nothing, like one time she accidentally got a bit of soy sauce on me) and I'll just explode and start yelling and if she gets defensive (which she is completely entitled to do of course) I then go into tirrades of swearing, yelling, throwing things (never at her. I've never been physically violent towards her directly) and giving the finger and stuff, either in public or private. Usually I am a rather reserved person and a slight snob and do not care for people doing these things in public. I look down on them. And yet when I'm like this I am exactly the same as they are.

After I have calmed down I feel sick, tense, exhausted and emotional. Like I'm myself again and can feel things (which I can't during all this stuff) and have realised what I've done.

Anyway, I have tried several things to stop these attacks from happening before they escalate to beyond my control, but I don't know...it's hard because even before thay start, I feel distant and cold and bad, so it's difficult to think rationally and realise no, my partner DOES care about me (cause for some reason the major theme of all these things is that she doesn't love me and is against me, even though I KNOW she isn't).

Also, I don't even know if I am NOT in control during these outbursts. I would certainly appear not to be, but then...when I throw things, they're always things that either won't break, or I throw them somewhere not dangerous or where they won't hit anything else, and I never do anything to endanger my partner or anyone else around, so you'd think that would take some control, wouldn't you? If I have that much control, then why can't I control myself and stop them from happening?
stevie_23, the same thing happened to me.
With me there's one subject that makes me get so manac.
What you have to do when you get these anger attacks.
You have to sedate your brain.
When you build up all this anger on whatever is bothering you.
Thats what leads to all this anger.
It can take over your life and literally your out of control.
There were times I felt i was going to have a heart attack from these anger attacks.

What I do. When i'm in one of these manac moods.
I'll pretend I just took Lithium or Valium.
Then i'll sort of think i'm getting drowsy.
I'll say to myself. Sedate your mind. Sedate your mind.
You got to psyche yourself out to get rid of the anger.
Hi, I have had this temper problem also, still dealing with it but it is getting better.
I took a look at the medications I was taking-- sudafed almost every day, which I thought I needed BUT once I stopped taking it, did ok without (sinuses.) the outcome was, I stopped being as short-fused. Immense improvement. I had not noticed how anxious and angry Sudafed made me.

Also, caffeine. I am still working on that one, limiting it to 2 cups a day but I was off it totally for a while. I read on net where someone said, with Caffeine people seem to see things black or white, but off caffeine, there is less of a knee-jerk reaction to things, more thoughtfulness.

I used to take Prozac from dr but I finally figured out it was making the temper problem worse.

Am trying exercise every day, enough to tire me out some, and that wears down the excess energy a lot.

Good luck to ya on yer journey to less anger,
Soberseeker
[QUOTE=soberseeker;2810160]Hi, I have had this temper problem also, still dealing with it but it is getting better.
I took a look at the medications I was taking-- sudafed almost every day, which I thought I needed BUT once I stopped taking it, did ok without (sinuses.) the outcome was, I stopped being as short-fused. Immense improvement. I had not noticed how anxious and angry Sudafed made me.

Also, caffeine. I am still working on that one, limiting it to 2 cups a day but I was off it totally for a while. I read on net where someone said, with Caffeine people seem to see things black or white, but off caffeine, there is less of a knee-jerk reaction to things, more thoughtfulness.

I used to take Prozac from dr but I finally figured out it was making the temper problem worse.

Am trying exercise every day, enough to tire me out some, and that wears down the excess energy a lot.

Good luck to ya on yer journey to less anger,
Soberseeker[/QUOTE]
It sounds like you have bipolar disorder look up symthoms
hey, I know what you mean here. I have done the same things, almost exactly. Throwing things that either don't break, or are mine not my (now-ex) girlfriends stuff. My anger episodes have reduced lately though, I suppose. I have been trying techniques that reduce overall stress and am hoping that this will reduce the anger outbursts. I have added exercise and yoga to my life several years ago and I have had but one of these events now, whereas they used to occur for me about monthly. I am nervous now though, as I may just be beginning a new relationship. I guess this is where I will be able to "test" how effective the stress reductions really are because these outbursts usually seem to occur with significant others...maybe just because I spend more time with them than others? I don't know. ...
[QUOTE=stevie_23;2372589]Does anyone have any methods of coping or preventing these violent surges of anger that we speak of frequently here?

I am the same as many others...I feel vaguely irritated and tense for a while, not sure why but I feel dettached and cold and distant with my partner who I usually feel extemely close and affection with...then something will happen (which is really nothing, like one time she accidentally got a bit of soy sauce on me) and I'll just explode and start yelling and if she gets defensive (which she is completely entitled to do of course) I then go into tirrades of swearing, yelling, throwing things (never at her. I've never been physically violent towards her directly) and giving the finger and stuff, either in public or private. Usually I am a rather reserved person and a slight snob and do not care for people doing these things in public. I look down on them. And yet when I'm like this I am exactly the same as they are.

After I have calmed down I feel sick, tense, exhausted and emotional. Like I'm myself again and can feel things (which I can't during all this stuff) and have realised what I've done.

Anyway, I have tried several things to stop these attacks from happening before they escalate to beyond my control, but I don't know...it's hard because even before thay start, I feel distant and cold and bad, so it's difficult to think rationally and realise no, my partner DOES care about me (cause for some reason the major theme of all these things is that she doesn't love me and is against me, even though I KNOW she isn't).

Also, I don't even know if I am NOT in control during these outbursts. I would certainly appear not to be, but then...when I throw things, they're always things that either won't break, or I throw them somewhere not dangerous or where they won't hit anything else, and I never do anything to endanger my partner or anyone else around, so you'd think that would take some control, wouldn't you? If I have that much control, then why can't I control myself and stop them from happening?[/QUOTE]

Why do you feel like you are going to be abandoned?
Myself I would surrender to her, and make love not war. Surrender your fear of being left or jilted to her, the object of your emotions, I think.
Simply throw yourself into her arms when you get a mad-on, and I believe they will eventually subside. Surrender.

Right on, soberseeker. Chop down these trees of explosive anger at the roots where they sprout from rather than halfway up, after the fact.

vegetableyogi, stress reduction is right on too. But I don't see the cause for your flare-ups in your post.

Do you have sky-highs as well as these melt-downs? Bi-polar disorder would require this notable variableness in behaviour.

Psyche yourself out to get rid of the anger, yes! Fall into her arms and surrender when you feel enraged, and tell her why you are surrendering. You love her, you don't want to subject her to tirades. Psyche yourself out by throwing yourself into her arms with Surrender.

Have you ever been shouting at your honey, then answered the phone and said "Hello, who is this please?"
The telephone demands a different poke in our heads than the irritating one.
Familiarity breeds contempt? My sister almost got divorced just because she could not put the cap back on the toothpaste. No kidding. Does familiarity make us take our loved one for granted? What happened to that Knight in shining armour or that Glittering Princess? They became common. Lord it over them because you consider that they have failed you or are going to leave you because of yourself?
This is me again. Just updating that I have felt different lately somehow...more calm and positive regardless of life events or stresses...I haven't had one of my "episodes" for many months now...good. *relieved*





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