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Anger Management Message Board


Anger Management Board Index


hello,
i have been dating the same guy off and on for over 6 years now. he clearly has anger issues, however, he has never become violent. the thing that really bothers me is that he always tells me how EVERYONE i know treats me like sh**. then he will go on and on about what i should do about it. then, if i don't agree with him and take his advice (which is usually very unrealistic) he gets really mad at me. we have fights about this often and he stays mad at me for days. the only way to make things better is if i kiss his a** and apologize over and over again. i'm not even sure why i'm apologizing anymore... i just do it so things will be better again. he always makes it sound like he's trying to "protect" me and that it's because he doesn't want people walking all over me, but i have pretty good instincts and i honestly think he's overreacting. how do i handle this???

thanks!
[QUOTE=neversaynever]hello,
i have been dating the same guy off and on for over 6 years now. he clearly has anger issues, however, he has never become violent. the thing that really bothers me is that he always tells me how EVERYONE i know treats me like sh**. then he will go on and on about what i should do about it. then, if i don't agree with him and take his advice (which is usually very unrealistic) he gets really mad at me. we have fights about this often and he stays mad at me for days. the only way to make things better is if i kiss his a** and apologize over and over again. i'm not even sure why i'm apologizing anymore... i just do it so things will be better again. he always makes it sound like he's trying to "protect" me and that it's because he doesn't want people walking all over me, but i have pretty good instincts and i honestly think he's overreacting. how do i handle this???

thanks![/QUOTE]


whoa! that sounds just like my boyfriend~ he tells me how my bestfriend treats me like crap, then gets angry with me cause i like her and theres no way im dumping her for him.
he always in a bad mood and its so hard to have fun with him and i never know what will set him off! i try not to irratae him . he never gets physcial or anything like that. i hate going out in public with him in case he shouts at me infront of people but besides all that he is really sweet and i know i can trust him. i cant belive youve managed to stay with him for six years! i've been dating my bf for 8 months and his mood swings are really starting to wear me down, anythime i decide ill leave him he does something nice and i forgive him. i do love his nice side. but i dont know how long i can take his moddyness, i would break up with him but he loves me to bits and i dont know if i could ever break his heart,
My boyfriend was the same way with me when we first started going out. He didn't like any of my family members or friends or my roommates because he thought that they treated me like crap which they didn't. We have been together for two years now and he has gradually changed, he also had alot of anger issues but not anymore. He saw it as being over protective. But I just think that he was being overally jealous and insecure because he had low self esteem. He probably didn't want me to spend time with anyone else but him.
Another thing is that you said that you find what he tells you to do is unrealistic and he probably thinks it is too. That's why you shouldn't apologize to him afterwards, because although he might find it unrealistic in his mind your apology will make him feel like he is right and he will keep doing it.

I'm not going to tell you that you should break up with him. But I think you should tell him how you feel and that you don't like it when he does this cause it drives you away from him. If he considers it and changes his ways then you should stay with him, if he doesn't then he obviously doesn't care about your feelings and you should move on.





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