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Anger Management Message Board

Anger Management Board Index

Hey how do I get to that point of not caring what somebody thinks. I used to have "friends" who would scowl, look down and away when I was talking in social situations or look at other people to check to see if they were equally annoyed or bewildered by what I had to say ( even though the topic I was talking about was either humorous or neutral), then play on that secret attack to make me look bad. I've had friends who would invite me places and then refuse to engage in a conversation with me or be concerned about anything I had to say. Is this not totally evil to do to somebody? In private they have no trouble talking with me but in public the body language is like how superior they are and how inferior and worthless I am and that is when the arguements start out of nowhere...just people trying to make me look stupid or on the defensive for no reason. Sometime people will have really angry feelings about what i am saying but nobody is saying anything or letting me know what they think or how they feel (I can just tell they or the person is angry or annoyed because of the face or obvious body language). Like I have had a small group of people at a college party snub me for no reason and nobody ever told me what I said wrong or what I did. When the people there were not perfect talkers either, and didn't say the most pleasent it seemed so unfair and really odd for any person or group to exclude me. Then later I would ask is there something wrong or wrong with me and then my friends responses would nearly always be "oh no you are a cool cat but somebody else has a problem with you" or "oh no you are as normal as could be. You just say what is on your mind and what most people just think in their heads. You say it out loud instead." All in all I am just wondering do most people go threw this social turmoil (I mean I still don't think I have to be treated like a 3rd class citizen and be snubbed or ignored - what is the point of inviting me to a party or social gathering if I am going to be snubbed or ignored) and how do you start not to care about what others think. I think that if this is a normal part of socializing then I can get over it and stop feeling depressed, victimized and stop caring so much about others' negative reactions towards my comments or my presence. It is so weird how I can sense their body tensing up when I am around - it is as if get away from me you sick stupid idiot person I hate you type aura and I am just so confused and bewildered as to what the problem is (especially when some people do not even know me that well or others know me really well and I am still treated like an Ananthema.

Also as a social comparison I have no social problems at work or when doing volunteer work - conversations flow pretty well with everyone and there is not too much friction or conflict. Shy people keep to themselves, manipulative people are ignored, and friendly people are acknkowledged. That is how it goes at work or elsewhere. It is just very difficult when my friends pull 180s on me. It makes life so much more anger making and stressful.

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