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Anger Management Message Board


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It's easy to tell from your letter that you are intelligent and insightful. It must be frustrating to work in that type of environment. I know because I once was in a situation like that. I really couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I was treated as if I had no intelligence and was somehow the laughing stock of the place. Yet I stayed there for years with each day getting worse and worse. It affected my physical and mental health. I had thoughts of my co-workers suffering the way they made me suffer. This is your mind sending you real red flags.

Is it this job or has it happened repeatedly on different jobs? If it is this job, get out. I stayed because my job was well-paying and had great benefits but one day, I was at my wit's end and called to say I quit with no notice. Immediately, the relief was so great I could have cried. Then the reality hit that I needed another job. It took a few years to work my way back up to a good paying job again but the difference is immense. I am so well-respected at my current job and have been in my previous jobs since the "bad" one. I still don't know what the problem was but I do know it wasn't me. It could be the same with you. Unfortunately, we got locked into a situation where the people surrounding us were a mass of people who were bad for us.

If this happens to you in whatever job you have, can you ask some close friends to tell you the truth? Sad as it may be, appearances can cause people to judge you in a negative way. Are there certain things about your appearance that are giving you an image you don't want?

The same is true in your manner of speech. Is your honesty making you too blunt? When you are trying to help people, are they taking it the wrong way?

It could be as easy as you are just not suited for the type of work you do. Not everyone can do every job with ease. Me for example. I like kids and I know how to take care of them but there is no way on God's green earth I should ever have a job taking care of them. I would soon lose patience with the different ways parents have chosen to raise their children with lack of manners. And I don't have the energy it requires to chase after kids all day. I would soon be in an intolerable position.

Maybe you belong in a field without so much customer contact. Instead of focusing on your dislikes about your job, try to focus on what skills you have picked up there that can transfer to another job. A new company would be best so you don't have any reminders of that job at all. Look at your resume and see where you can build on it. Can you take some courses that will help you get another position? Think about what you really like to do. What aspects of working seem like fun to you? Do you like working with figures, computer work, design aspects, etc? Concentrate on your skills in those areas to beef up your resume and see if you have enough to get a job in that field, even at entry level. Consider it a challenge to take an entry level job and by working really hard, work up to a good position. If you don't have enough skills, find a company who is willing to take a dependable, hard worker and train them. Offer to take courses to speed up the training.

I had minimal skills in the field I'm in now when I started but it didn't take long to learn them. Doing something you like and looking forward to going to work is a strong motivation.

Don't fall into the trap of becoming the same intolerant and judgmental type of person that you are trying to stay away from. Keep an open mind about other opportunities. I live in the deep south, the so-called "churchie" area. Yet the people in my community are the friendliest I have ever seen. The laid-back, low stress atmosphere fits my personality and the way I want to live. At one time, I would not have considered living here due to my own pre-concieved notions.

You have control over your life. Choose not to accept your current conditions, choose a better life for yourself. Choosse to not let other people affect your happiness. Today, choose to make one person happy....YOU!

Susan





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