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Anger Management Message Board

Anger Management Board Index

i think what youre doing isnt right or healthy. you say anger management wasnt for you, did you give it a chance at all? like fireball says, maybe another form of therapy is right for you, but you have to give it a try. What youre doing now might end up making you have an ulcer because of all the angry feelings. You are trying to justify the anger feelings by saying it or you are helping your friend. I think its not healthy at all to feel no other emotions but anger. Like fireball says, you are missing a range of other healthy emotions that are needed to live a mentally healthy life.
The lack of remorse is scary. This can grow and lead to other things that you might end up doing without remorse simply because you justify it as doing or having anger for the right reasons. This isnt true and will end up being detrimental to your mental and physical health if it continues.
At this point i think in my opinion, you are in great need of some kind of therapy because the road you are "choosing", and you are choosing it, is the wrong road. When you say you dont care if it hurts the families of these men that hurt your friend, when you say you dont care if it hurts the children, then there is something terribly wrong with you, that may or may not be obvious to you. Anger is a healthy emotion, everyone gets angry, but its what you do with the anger that determines if you are doing the right or wrong thing. From what you are saying, you have no conscious or remorse who you might end up hurting thru your anger in trying to find justice for your friend.
You say you feed off your anger, some people do, whether its right or wrong depends on what you do with that anger, and its not simply to satisfy your need for justice for your friend. Your way is the wrong way. You might end up doing things that you might or might not regret later on ( i say might not because you seem to not have remorse over your way of thinking), things that are not socially or legally accepted.
In my opinion i suggest you run, not walk to the nearest therapist , because from where i stand, the lack of remorse, the feeding off the anger, the not feeling other emotions, is usually what makes a sociopath. Here is an excerpt from a website and of course im no doctor, this is strictly my opinion:
Sociopathy is chiefly characterized by something wrong with the person's conscience. They either don't have one, it's full of holes like Swiss cheese, or they are somehow able to completely neutralize or negate any sense of conscience or future time perspective. Sociopaths only care about fulfilling their own needs and desires - selfishness and egocentricity to the extreme. Everything and everybody else is mentally twisted around in their minds as objects to be used in fulfilling their own needs and desires. They often believe they are doing something good for society, or at least nothing that bad.
READ that last sentence again.
i think the act of being angry about something that is definatley wrong, is healthy. it makes ME angry, to see people, myself included being walked all over, pushed around, used, mistreated, misjudged etc etc. and those things make me very very very angry. theres not much i can do about it, but if someone makes me angry, say a complete stranger at the grocery store who just straight up mistreats me or is RUDE and probably doesn't even realize it, im the kind of person who WILL tell them, i will point it out. because it does make me angry. now ive been told many many times i have a bad attitude and i shouldnt be like that. "i should let it go" but if everyone in the world has the attitude, "ill let it go" then NO ONE will ever be forced to face up to their actions. my wrongs have been pointed out to me time and time again, and eventually, i started to except some things i was definatley doing wrong, and changed them. if no one had of ever been mad at me enough to TELL ME how i was acting, what i was doing wrong, i would probably never noticed. because i ,just like most people, am self absorbed and selfish , becuase its human nature. like the old saying learn from your mistakes and others mistakes, u can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself. its true. if i see say excuse me to someone more than TWICE, when im certian they heard me the first time, i do something about it now. i get around them one way or another, because they're going to realize they are NOT the only person in the world that matters. just an example, i was in a certian store, and a certian employee would not check me out. i stood there for 5 min. waiting on her to say she could check me out..... finally, another cashier came to the front and checked me out. but while i was there, another person walked up and the girl that looked me up and down and ignored me standing there, told a guy she could "check him out over here"
of course the guy was young, she was young. im young. im 20.. they couldnt have been any older. she wouldnt check me out because there was nothing in it for her. her job doesnt matter to her. she does not deserve the money shes making working there, because shes not working. i said something about it, it angered me. i yelled as i walked out of the store I APPRECIATE THAT ***** OVER THERE CHECKING OUT A GUY TO FLIRT WITH, BUT SHE WONT CHECK ME OUT. and the lady who actually did check me out looked kinda dumbfounded that i would scream this in the middle of the store, and said who are u talking about mam.... so i pointed my finger at the girl and said that ***** right there, quite loudly. customers did hear me. she looked right at me and heard me. her co worker should be angered that shes not doing **** and making her co worker do all the work. thats what goes on at MY job. but i dont stand for it anymore. and even though everyone might tell me therse something wrong wtih ME.... i think its the other way around, i think theres something wrong with all these people who are making me angry. im just theo nly one with guts enough to speak up about it. so i agre, sometimes anger IS healthy, and it DOES make u feel better to vent that anger, and why vent it on your friends,family,husband/wife /boyfriend/girlfriend when u could vent it DIRECTLY on the person thats causing the anger in the first place. now of course theres a limit to what u can say in public or who u can speak to that way especially government people, doctors, people with guns,, ETC. but if the chance is there, im taking it. and the times that i HAVE spoken up when i was angry at someone, i forgot all about it by the next day. the times when i held it in, and let it slide, were the times when i had to tell any1 and every1 how MAD i was about something, and i had several different things running through my head i wished i could have said but didnt.
you cant listen when people say "dont let things make you angry"
when we all start not letting things make us angry, we're letting the BAD people who make us angry, win.
my opinion !

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