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Anger Management Message Board

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My brother has serious anger issues, to the point where my other brothers and myself can't even manage to be around him anymore. I'm 22, he's 19. My two younger brothers are 16 and 13.

We all live at home still, due to financial constraints that I have with college and whatnot. The straw that kind of broke the camel's back was yesterday. Every Monday my brothers, friends and family get together and play some friendly softball, no big deal. I was running some errands with my younger brothers, and the "angry" brother I guess we'll call him, called me and said to swing by the house and grab his glove. We were in a rush with other things going on, and I ended up forgetting to grab it. I didn't realize until we were already at the field, and of course he immediately gets livid when I mention that I forgot the mitt. He starts screaming, "that's the ONE THING I asked you guys to do and you can't REMEMBER!?!?!" F*#&, you guys are idiots!!" The reason it was more annoying is because he's the only left handed person that plays, so he couldn't use someone else's glove.

We live 10 mins from the park, and we were still waiting for ten or more people to show up, so I told him to just go grab it really quick and that it's not that big of a deal. My friend even offered his car so he didn't have to waste any gas money, but he just sat in the dugout angered to the point where he wouldn't even speak to anybody. We had to baby and coax him to even play because he was being so stubborn and aggressive about the issue. He never drove the 10 minutes back home to just grab his glove, which shouldn't be my responsiblity anyways. Instead he decided to whine the entire two hours of the game, and once while switching sides after the 3rd out he just went wild with outbursts, screaming, "Baseball is so fun without a FU*#$ING GLOVE!" Everybody was trying to make things easier for him, saying he could just bat for both teams, or etc. He just couldn't let it go, and his horrible attitude was just ruining every one else's time.

When he got home from the game, he ended up punching a hole in one of our wooden cabinets in pure animosity, then slammed the door and went into his room for the rest of the night. He's 19 years old, for Christ's sake! This behavior is totally horrendous, immature and unnacceptable in my opinion. I've stopped even inviting him out around my friends and others, and my little brothers are practically in fear of him because of his random rage. He doesn't have to pay for anything at home, has piles of spare money from state grants for his financial aid, has no job, isn't in school at the moment because it's Summer, and he pretty much has the easy life right now. I don't know what could be triggering this anger, but I feel like I've had enough.

I'm graduating college and moving out next Summer with a close friend of mine, and I feel like once I'm gone I'll never even talk to my brother anymore. His anger issues are hurting his relationships with family members, and I just don't know what to do anymore. How do you all deal with people like this? I'm sick of catering to him because of his short fuse.
If someone has an answer I would be so happy to hear it. I have a 19 yr old son with the exact same problem of your brothers.
He has extreme anger outbursts and has upset our family to the max. Little things set him off and you never know when they are going to happen. His brother, my 18 year old, wore his shirt, by the way one he had never worn and had for 6 months, and he got a stain on it. My 19 yr old went crazy, screaming and cursing, F this and Mother F that, and ripped the shirt to shreds. About that time my 18 yr old walks in and he starts on him, pushing and bullying him, he is 40 lbs heavier and 5 in taller than his 18 yr old brother. My 18 yr old, who knows that he just needs to get out of his way, goes into his own bedroom and locks the door. My 19 yr old gets madder and then puts his fist through the door and unlocks it. He sucker punches his brother, all this time his 16 yr old sister is watching, screaming and crying. I get right in the middle of this fight and stop it and pick up the phone to call the police. My 19 yr old leaves so I don't call the cops. This is by far the worse it has even gotten, but we have had many holes in walls and doors during the past 19 yrs. He was an angry defiant 2 yr old also.
He has ADHD and ODD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and is on Adderall that he doesn't take and should be on Paxil, but won't take it either.
By the way, I am an Art teacher and own my own business, and my husband is a CPA.
Anybody had the same problem that would give us some advise.

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