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Anger Management Message Board


Anger Management Board Index


If someone has an answer I would be so happy to hear it. I have a 19 yr old son with the exact same problem of your brothers.
He has extreme anger outbursts and has upset our family to the max. Little things set him off and you never know when they are going to happen. His brother, my 18 year old, wore his shirt, by the way one he had never worn and had for 6 months, and he got a stain on it. My 19 yr old went crazy, screaming and cursing, F this and Mother F that, and ripped the shirt to shreds. About that time my 18 yr old walks in and he starts on him, pushing and bullying him, he is 40 lbs heavier and 5 in taller than his 18 yr old brother. My 18 yr old, who knows that he just needs to get out of his way, goes into his own bedroom and locks the door. My 19 yr old gets madder and then puts his fist through the door and unlocks it. He sucker punches his brother, all this time his 16 yr old sister is watching, screaming and crying. I get right in the middle of this fight and stop it and pick up the phone to call the police. My 19 yr old leaves so I don't call the cops. This is by far the worse it has even gotten, but we have had many holes in walls and doors during the past 19 yrs. He was an angry defiant 2 yr old also.
He has ADHD and ODD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and is on Adderall that he doesn't take and should be on Paxil, but won't take it either.
By the way, I am an Art teacher and own my own business, and my husband is a CPA.
Anybody had the same problem that would give us some advise.
Dee
Yes, we did come down on him, but I am not sure what you mean by "control showdowns" . When he misbehaved my husband spanked him and I put him in time out. He was so out of control even then that I had to watch him the entire time and almost hold him down in time out. I probably smacked him on the butt a few times myself when I would loose total control. My husband just spanked him with his hand. His thoughts were We were spanked when we were kids and we grew up highly respectful, even scared of our parents. I guess we turned out ok but now I am not so sure. How could we have raised a child who could turn on us like he has? My other 2 kids are just normal teens, pleasant, sometimes disrespectful, but never violent and destructive. Consequences are harder to control now. He is in college, attends a local community college and thankfully is going away in the spring to University of Ky. He has a car, a cell phone and we pay his bills. I know that is probably the problem, we have given him everything.
He had a great career in baseball, he was the star in our area, throwing a 95 MPH fastball as a 7th grader and by the time he was a junior scouts from the majors were scouting him, then he hurt his knee playing football of all things and his career ended. Now after 6 surgeries and a huge letdown he is worse than ever. He can't keep a job because of all the surgeries. We only give him enough money to get back and forth to school and for food. He doesn't seem to mind not having any money, is ok just to lay around the house playing Xbox. What do I do? It is different for a girl than a boy, he is physically much bigger than me and frankly I am scared of him. Do I just wait for January to come and then be rid of him or do I come to blows with him now? I am just so confused and so hurt.
By the way, I live in Ky also.
Thanks,
Dee





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