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Anger Management Message Board

Anger Management Board Index

Sep 2, 2006
i'm a major pushover.
and i think part of what makes me a pushover isthat i'm scared of what other's reactions will be if i say no.
i get this because of the way my dad treats us, my mom, sister, and me.
everytime i get into a yelling match with him, i get scared that he'll hit me or something. it's always been like this.
i'll get into yelling matches with him, but i've never once spoken my mind.
actually that's not true. i did once and he pushed me into the stairs.
because of my fear to stand up to him, i end up taking my anger towards him out on my mom, for the most stupid things.
i'm afraid my mom may end up doing something drastic having him yell at her all of the time, then me snapping at her all of the time.
and of course my 12 year old sister decides that now she can grow an attitude.
my sister is turning out like my dad, where they both end up acing like jackasses all the time. verbally abusing both my mom and i.

here's a 'letter' i had written one time after he pissed me off to no end. i'll try to clean it up as best i can...:

"Why do you have to be such a manipulative *******? Why is it when I think of you and mom, I think of a woman in an abusive relationship? abuse isn't only physical. you're always putting mom down, and lately C and me too. Why is it whenever you say 'you're becoming more like your mother everyday.' you always mean it as an insult? What? so the two freakin times you called my cell, it was off. SO. EFFING. WHAT. it's not like my phone is ringing 24/7. and so what if mom leaves her phone off, it's not that big of a freakin deal. maybe she leaves it off so she doesn't have to listen to you ***** at her for an hour at a time. and what the hell was up with that one time she called you and you said 'i'd appreciate it if you didn't call me at work about home things.'!? you really seem like a loving husband/parent when you say stuff like that.
and what the hell is up with you and moms weight? so what if she's a little overweight, she's not freakin obese. and i wouldn't be talking about weight problems if i were you.
and what the hell is up with you treating C and i like the freakin maids? so what if you work. during softball season i'm basically at school for the same amount of time you're at work. even more seeing as you have a 2 hour drive to and from, not including thetime it takes to GET to the bus station. you leave at 6 and don't get home until about 8. you're only at work for....about 8-9 hours a day. that's about how long i'm at school for.
so get off your lazy butt and do your own **** for once. that's what you're telling us all the time.
and the kick-a-thon for karate. what the **** was up with you treating C like that!?!?
she had to do the kick-a-thon, which was an hour of non stop stuff. she had a basketball game, which is about an hour, sometimes a bit more than that. and she had a basketball practice which is usually two hours. That's too ****ing much for an 12 year old to do in one day!! why was it that big of a deal that she didn't want to go to the practice?
and i swear to god my friend almost called the police on you after the way you treated me."

i don't know what to do.
i've asked people for advice before and they tell me to talk to my mom about it and see what she says. thing is, i do. and she's too scared to stand up to him as well.
then other people have said maybe talk to my mom about getting divorced from him.
thing is, my mom doesn't work.
my dad makes all of the money.
i begged my friend not to call the police, because i was thinking 'my dad makes all the money, but would be gone. my mom doesn't work so she wouldn't be able to support us. what would happen to my sister and i?'
i mean, yeah, we could live with relatives. but they all live in oregon while we live in new york.
and i've already gone to 4 schools within 2 years because of moving.
my sister 3 of them.

i'm sorry the post is so long.
i just get SO angry all the time, but i don't know what to do..

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