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Anger Management Message Board

Anger Management Board Index

hello everybody...

To start off I'm really scared and pretty much don't know what I should do. Here lately I have been having frequent bouts of uncontrollable rage. I thought at first it might just be PMS because it would happen around that time of the month but it's been happening more frequently. I scream and yell and here lately have been hitting my boyfriend and saying mean and hurful things to him. It's like I become a completely different person. I just get this urge to hit or kick something. It's usuallly something minor or nothing at all that will cause me to blow up. What is scaring me is the fact that I am hurting someone I love. I use to just maybe throw objects or hit a wall. I somtimes even hit myself. My boyfriend won't leave me and is sometimes scared to leave me alone because of what I might to do myself. He wants me to get help and he refuses to abandon me so I know I am lucky in that regard. Afterwards I'm exhausted and then the depression hits because I realize what I've done.

I was on 150 mgs of Effexor up until a year ago. I went on it mainly for anxiety and depression but I did have some anger issues but never like this.

I freaked out earlier today which included throwing his shoes at him and kicking him. I usually drive him to either having to grab me or to threatem to leave which just makes me cry and beg for him to stay. After all this happens and I'm left to myself, I feel depressed. I wonder why I even did all of that.

I feel like a monster because I have a wonderful boyfriend but I am taking out all my anger on him. I know what I am doing is wrong but it's like I can't control it. I never thought I would find myself abusing someone. I know I need help but I don't have any insurance which was one reason I went off the Effexor. I was dropped from my parents plan when I turned 21. I wonder if there is anyway I can get therapy. I could still contact my psychiatrist I guess. I did see her a few months ago because I was having anxiety issues again. My boyfriend says he'd help me pay if I needed to go again. I'm scared to talk to my parents, they would only make things worse.

I just wanted to know if anyone has any advice or has dealt with this?

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