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Anger Management Message Board

Anger Management Board Index

Hello, Halls.

Let me say that what you are saying here is admirable. You have taken the critical first step and admitted your problem. Perhaps more importantly is that you refuse to let it ruin your marriage. Your children definitely [U][B]do not [/B][/U] deserve a broken home--no one does.

The next step is for him to see these problems. Has he admitted that your (plural) behavior is detremental to your relationship? If he can take the first step as well, then you two should be ready for the next step, which would be to seek help. You need to determine the source of these frustrations, which your therapist will assist you with.

For example, yes, working a dead-end job is frustrating, especially if it isn't enough income to support a family. But, what is the deeper issue? Did either of you have a dad who worked a dead-end job? Or, perhaps a previous relationship? Does he know how to get out of this job? i.e. has he had any good examples to look to for getting a new job? Do you want to stay home with your children? IMO, the world needs more stay-at-home mothers, but are you in position to be one and how can you support your husband in the process?

Point being, the two of you need to work together. If the problem is mutual, then the solution needs to be as well. You can change all of your behavior and do what is right, but unless he does as well, nothing will be accomplished.

Wishing you the best.

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