It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Anger Management Message Board


Anger Management Board Index


Hello, Geishafly.

First off, I want to pose this question for you: Are his spurts of anger provoked or unprovoked? From what you've said so far, it seems that his spats are out of jealousy more than anything else. But are they all out of jealousy or can you think of anything at all that would be a somewhat legitimate reason for him to get upset? As I do not know any of your situation other than what you have told us, I want you to realize that however much effort he puts into fixing his behavior will be fruitless unless the source of this behavior is addressed.

I will also offer this thought. As you have said the two of you are live-in bf/gf. If you're not married at this point, your son needs to be the higher priority. Is this the influence you want for him? He is at a very vulnerable stage in his life right now. The early teen years are the most awkward in the first place. You definitely don't want to give him more reasons to act out.

Perhaps just as importantly, is this the man you see yourself in a long-term relationship with? I'm talking about the way he is now. A friend of mine once said "never fall in love with a man's potential." If he's changing, great--awesome. But watch him and make sure it's a real change, not just words.

Not knowing your whole story, I am not qualified to answer all of these questions for you. Only you can decide that. But from what I can tell, he needs a whole lot of serious help. He also needs your support in the process, but you can't support him at the expense of yourself or your son.

By the way, you said he doesn't seem violent ... he only needs to snap once.
[QUOTE=hagios]Hello, Geishafly.

First off, I want to pose this question for you: Are his spurts of anger provoked or unprovoked? From what you've said so far, it seems that his spats are out of jealousy more than anything else. But are they all out of jealousy or can you think of anything at all that would be a somewhat legitimate reason for him to get upset? As I do not know any of your situation other than what you have told us, I want you to realize that however much effort he puts into fixing his behavior will be fruitless unless the source of this behavior is addressed.

I will also offer this thought. As you have said the two of you are live-in bf/gf. If you're not married at this point, your son needs to be the higher priority. Is this the influence you want for him? He is at a very vulnerable stage in his life right now. The early teen years are the most awkward in the first place. You definitely don't want to give him more reasons to act out.

Perhaps just as importantly, is this the man you see yourself in a long-term relationship with? I'm talking about the way he is now. A friend of mine once said "never fall in love with a man's potential." If he's changing, great--awesome. But watch him and make sure it's a real change, not just words.

Not knowing your whole story, I am not qualified to answer all of these questions for you. Only you can decide that. But from what I can tell, he needs a whole lot of serious help. He also needs your support in the process, but you can't support him at the expense of yourself or your son.

By the way, you said he doesn't seem violent ... he only needs to snap once.[/QUOTE]
Hello Hagios,

Thanks for the reply.... There are times when we argue and it gets nasty on both parts. I'm not sure if I would call it that his anger is provoked, because he's gets upset very easily. He'll start questioning me and because I get defensive he'll become even more angry as if I'm hiding something. Like I stated before I do love him very much but I will only stay if he actively seeks help and follows through with it. For me thats the only way.........





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:04 AM.





2019 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!