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Anger Management Message Board

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Anger/Being Ignored
Jan 11, 2007
I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 1/2 yrs. He is a very sweet, loving affectionate guy....but he has anger issues and his way of dealing with it is to ignore people. When he's upset over something he completely shuts down. When he's upset at me he won't talk to me unless I start talking and he will just reply yes or no. He ignores me and he will ignore me for days if he has to. If I do communicate with him he gives me attitude and yells at me. The things that piss him off are the smallest things... There are a lot of family members and friends who recognize he has this problem and he has lost alot of relationships with friends and family members because of something little they did that made him feel like if he has to ignore them forever...

For as long as I remember my biggest issue with my family and friends growing up is feeling like I'm being IGNORED. This is why I feel like I can't really deal with him ignoring me. He ignores my phone calls, ignores me in person, and my emails and everything you can possibly think of. It drives me crazy and it makes me really sad and depressed to think that the only way he can "resolve" any problem he has with me is by ignoring me. It's so weird to see how much he changes when he's angry, it's like a completely diff. person.

To make it worst he already knows that it drives me crazy. The fact that he knows and decides not to do anything about it makes me angry and hold some resentment towards him for it...

When he eventually calms down and is no longer angry you would think that he'd be able to communicate with me about it but as soon as the subject comes up he gets mad all over again. He continues his daily routine as if nothing ever happened. I feel like if he tries to solve the issue by ignoring it but in the end all he's doing is keeping it to himself and holding alot of little grudges. I don't understand why he'd rather ignore people rather than talk about things....he knows that I'm willing to talk to him but still chooses to ignore me. Can someone please explain this to me? I love him alot and he really is a great guy and I would love to marry him someday, but I can't imagine marrying him and having to deal with this for the rest of my life. I don't want my kids to think that this is a way of solving a problem and I don't want my kids to be ignored.

What can I do to stop him from continuing this ongoing cycle? What can I do to stop feeling mad/sad when he ignores me?

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