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Anger Management Message Board

Anger Management Board Index

Hello everybody,

I seem to feel anger related exclusively to injustice. I'd like to see if other people here relate. It's been causing me significant problems.

I'm a male in his mid twenties. Personality wise, I am pretty calm and relaxed in general, but have a tendency to feel quickly angry when things don't go right or my way. I am generally friendly and outgoing. I have always been well appreciated by most people and have not had significant relationship problems.

The main thing that make me blow a fuse in injustice. When I'm talking injustice, I don't mean it like some people do as in comparing what you have with what your neighbor/friend/coworker has and believing you deserve as much. I am not an envious person. I mean seeing someone being treated unfairly or being treated unfairly myself, witnessing an abuse of power, seeing fragile people get exploited by others... These things make me enraged. In those moments, the only thing I want to do is reestablish justice. I feel that my anger is warranted and I can't control it because doing so makes me feel defeated... as if people got away with their actions. I want to teach them a lesson, to get revenge, to make them pay... I am not physically violent but I have fought many (verbal) battles.

I try to be a respectful person who treats everyone well. I work in a very competitive workplace. It's very hard to get ahead. However, while I enjoy a good fight, I have my principles and do so with honor. I'm not a backstabber or a manipulator. At the moment, I'm performing well and am ahead of many others. I have taken some leadership positions too. However, even in this competitive atmosphere, I try to treat everyone with respect, even potential rivals. It's a matter of principle for me. I make a special effort to help newcomers at my workplace, for example. I try to offer my help. I say hello in the morning, goodbye in the evening and make sure everybody gets included at lunch.

What really pisses me off is how childish and petty some people can be when they are in a competitive environment. Recently, a new coworker arrived. I made a special effort to present her to others when she arrived, to be friendly, show her things around, etc. Unfortunately, she now hasn't got many prospects and is performing badly. However, she now thinks that she can get by not saying hello, goodbye or inviting me to lunch - but does so with everyone else! She makes snides remarks at me when I say hello... She has a little clique of friends/coworkers who are also performing averagely, are disgruntled about their work and spend their time gossiping. She is the most disagreeable and negativistic person ever. I don't know what I did for this - apart from being good at my job and being respectful with her. I feel enraged because I have made a special effort to treat this person well, and this person cannot even be polite in return. I believe she has no right to behave like she does. I know this is only minor... But it's a question of principle. Of respect, you know? Nobody has the right to treat others like that. I can't stand having people tread over me. I feel people need to respect me as much as I respect them.

I used to deal with this by just being assertive and saying what I think, but now I'm afraid that if I confront the person I'll be aggressive because of all the anger inside me. Also, I don't want to address the issue because I'll make a big deal out of it and it will make me look weak in front of others. I don't want others to know that they manage to affect me - it's giving them too much power over my anger. If people know that they can get me angry by ignoring me, is that not giving them to much control over my anger?

Lately, since I've been working I've seen my fair share of injustices and human pettiness in office politics. It just never ends. Whenever I solve one problem, another one arises. I try to be a good person. I try to be moral and honest. I despise people who are dishonest, bad or try to hurt others. Then, in my environment, there are many people like this because it's so competitive. It's just constant fighting. I'm accumulating anger about people each day inside of me. It's really tearing me apart inside. I have a real problem with it. I'm not even sure I want to let it go, because if I do it will be like admitting defeat in the battle. I just can't accept the idea that people can get away with being *******s and I just have to stand there, accept it, and swallow my anger. I can't accept unfair situations and people behaving like that. It's really eating me in the inside... I wait for the moment to act constructively on these feelings and when I have the occasion I change things for the best to reestablish justice. However, being patient and keeping things inside has been a good strategy for my job, but has caused me significant health problems. This anger is just too much... Sometimes I obsess about scenarios of revenge and how I could get back at the people who did things I hated. It's awful, I used to be such an enthusiastic and upbeat person... Now I feel nearly chronically angry.

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