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Anger Management Message Board

Anger Management Board Index

Hi Briguy,
Sorry for your troubles but good to see you are trying to seek out some help.
My mom does not suffer from anger management, she suffers from depression which sometimes can result in anger "episodes". She's not on any medication and I dont know to be honest even if she was, that she would for sure be different. Medication does not work for everyone, some people yes if they're lucky, this is great. You say your kids "lack for little". I would say that they lack something very important and that is "peace". From major experience, this is worth its weight in gold, way more than anything material. I also know how difficult it is to approach someone who always thinks that they are the one who is "right"....While my mom suffers from depression, and I know she cant help that, some days she makes me miserable as hell! I tried once in my life to stand up for myself and my goodness, it was like the earth came to an end. She freaked out, I had to move out and it was so awful, she even threw a cup of tea at me one day when I tried to speak with her. As I'm learning here on this board, you can try to talk to her about the way she is and how she makes you and your kids feel, but if not, then you have to change how YOU feel about the situation and take away that power that she has over you. I know now that my mom has the "dominating" authority in our house, but I know I have enabled that by giving into it. Dont be so obviously affected by her when she screams at you, just walk away and let her cool off. Let her know that your kids have said they will leave the house one day if you have to. As a mother I know that would stop me in my tracks!!!!
I hope this helps - again just diffuse her anger by not giving into it. Hopefully when she realizes she's not getting any reaction, she will be calm enough to understand when you talk to her and tell her she needs to relax and treat you with respect. There is no need for families to yell. We dont accept it from strangers and coworkers. Just because someone loves you doesnt give them the right to yell at you.
Best of luck,

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