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Anger Management Message Board


Anger Management Board Index


Hey,
Well, at first blush this seems more like a problem you'd see in a man (sorry guys) since in men you more often see anger as the emotion they will be most comfortable channeling. Women tend to be more manipulative, or will cry,or use guilt, as those tend to be the more female ways of controlling people. Rage in a woman is scary--in my opinion. You said nothing of her growing up life or what may be contributing to her inability to act in an appropriate manner now. But if has been going on for 25 years, it's her dynamic and it's working for her and she's not going to change w/o some serious intervention. You can take the kids & leave. Leave her & refuse to go back until she sees how things really are& accepts counseling/help/medication/whatever. Video tape her when she's in a rage and let her watch it. Let her know you won't take this behavior. Let the kids have their voice, too. The fact they can't wait to get out of the house is sad. She's probably feel terrible if she knew.
I can say this with all my heart because I went thru a similar (tho not nearly so bad) situation with my husband who never learned any other emotion but anger. He HAD to learn how to be nice, (and he is a nice man), but he needed to be taught how to not channel every other emotion other than "happy" into anger. And he did, but he had to work on it. I would NOT let him yell at or hit our kids, he could not yell at me, he could not rule the house with anger--we settled that out in the very first few years of marriage. I can't imagine 25 years of it. Stand up, be tough and claim your family.





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