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Anger Management Message Board


Anger Management Board Index


you say that your husband has been getting angry for the past 2 years, which would just about cover your pregnancy and then the birth and first year of your child's life, is there a connection? did you have problems during pregnancy or giving birth that could have made him feel helpless or excluded, or could his frustration have something to do with a lack of intimate relations due to the demands of a baby. it just seems coincidental. in any case you both need help with this before it affects the child. persuade him to go for counselling with you. it won't but easy but the option of just putting up with it isn't easy either.
good luck.
[QUOTE=camran;3044724]you say that your husband has been getting angry for the past 2 years, which would just about cover your pregnancy and then the birth and first year of your child's life, is there a connection? did you have problems during pregnancy or giving birth that could have made him feel helpless or excluded, or could his frustration have something to do with a lack of intimate relations due to the demands of a baby. it just seems coincidental. in any case you both need help with this before it affects the child. persuade him to go for counselling with you. it won't but easy but the option of just putting up with it isn't easy either.
good luck.[/QUOTE]

we had this problem before I got pregnant and during the pregnancy he put in depression by the things he said to me. during the birth he wouldn't help any. till this day he doesn't think that the baby is his responsablity its either mine or his moms. He and his family is self employed so he flips out on everyone. Blames everyone if something goes wrong when he is the one breaking equipment and is always taking off. We just don't know what to do he want go to the doctor
But seemy problem is not as bad as some women, with abusive husbands. My bf only has anger problems, he is not abusive towards me in any way. He only takes it out on me, because all of his friends dumped him when he quit doing drugs to make a better life for me and his child. so therefore i am the only person he has to listen to his problems. And when he is screaming, it is not at me, i just have to listen to it because i am the only person around him. I am not afraid for my life with him, i do feel protected all of the time, i just do not like him getting that angry all the time. for no reason. I am trying to figure out why he is this way. His dad moved in with us, (Finally out now) YAY, but i noticed while he was living with us, his dad always stays depressed, and angry, he is the most non social person i have ev er met. I just don't want my bf to end up like his father. I need help to get a little deeper, to figure it out.
[QUOTE=whitcole29;3083056]But seemy problem is not as bad as some women, with abusive husbands. My bf only has anger problems, he is not abusive towards me in any way. He only takes it out on me, because all of his friends dumped him when he quit doing drugs to make a better life for me and his child. so therefore i am the only person he has to listen to his problems. And when he is screaming, it is not at me, i just have to listen to it because i am the only person around him. I am not afraid for my life with him, i do feel protected all of the time, i just do not like him getting that angry all the time. for no reason. I am trying to figure out why he is this way. His dad moved in with us, (Finally out now) YAY, but i noticed while he was living with us, his dad always stays depressed, and angry, he is the most non social person i have ev er met. I just don't want my bf to end up like his father. I need help to get a little deeper, to figure it out.[/QUOTE]

yelling and venting at you because you're the only one who will listen to him IS being abusive, and the fact that you're making excuses for him shows just how far he's beaten you down already. And you don't want him to end up like his dad? He already is.....take off the blinders. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Don't try to be a hero and save this one....just toss him back.
Hi:

I can see that you have had a lot of advice that you perhaps feel uncomfortable with.
Only you know the details of your very specific problems and it would be unfair for anyone to give you advice that you haven't asked for, like "Leave him!!!" or "for the sake of your child".
At best these are contraversial statements for anyone to make and at worst could seriousley damage your, your partner and your childs lives. :nono:

I have a thought that perhaps you want to face these issues and resolve them instead of running away from them.

I think if you made your partner aware of his behaviour from an external viewpoint he might be convinced to seek professional advice and support.

To do this you could try somehow to record his behaviour onto video or audio media, or perhaps have someone available to act as a witness to his behaviour then replay or explain the incident to him.

You may not get an immediate posotive response, but I'm sure that if he is made aware of himself acting out in this way he'll soon ask himself questions that may lead to his (made with direction from you) decision to seek counsil.

I'm nearly 39 (not 40, :D ) and suffer badly from behavioural problems, not helped by my cessation of smoking.

Catching my behaviour on video camera shocked me! At the time and soon after I had denied to myself that I had done anything wrong, but I couldn't deny what I was seeing when this other person that was really me acting out this way.

Will you let me know how you get on please? :bouncing:

Kind regards,





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